#can't go a day without chewing gum

[saturngas]

megumi warming up to you

[🪐] a few years after megumi and tsumiki got "adopted" by you and gojo, megumi finally feels comfortable enough to tell you about his little school crush. just please don't tell gojo

pairing: gojo satoru x reader

genre: sfw

warnings: established relationship; reader and gojo are both in their early 20s; megumi is around 8 years old; use of gender neutral pet names; megumi being gojo's number one despiser

word count: 1.4k

..

megumi was awfully quiet on the ride home. he and tsumiki were walking a few steps in front of you and satoru. not that he wasn't a quiet and reserved boy by nature, always seeming to be deep in thought and observant of his surroundings. but this time was just different. his little dark eyes were placed on the ground, guiding his careful step, while his lips displayed a subtle pout.

he seemed to be thinking hard.

you looked up at satoru who was chewing on the straw of his already finished strawberry milk box.

"satoru," his eyes fell immediately on you at the sound of his name. his left hand was intertwined with your smaller one, the warm air lingering around both of you making your hands to be a bit sweaty. "do you think megumi is okay? he looks... distracted."

"oh! yeah, of course! why wouldn't he be?" he muttered out a bit nervous, straw between his lips. were you aware of the little disagreement megumi had with a classmate a couple of days ago? he promised megumi you wouldn't know. "maybe he has a bit more homework today, baby. he probably is already thinking about the answers."

"mmm, yeah, true," you hummed. "please help him with that, yeah?" satoru felt his cheeks burn intently the moment you shot him your best puppy eyes. his round glasses slid down the bridge of his nose, revealing his big azure eyes. he left a boyish chuckle while rubbing the back of his neck.

"hah, of course, sweet pie, yeah, hah."

math was always the easiest subject for satoru. well, actually any subject was a piece of cake for him. but he liked math and physics a lot more. he would solve equations within seconds without thinking too much of them. you may have been a little jealous of him during high school when you two would compete to find out who was faster; you would lose for mere seconds.

megumi did have more homework that day, elementary-level math problems. but that wasn't the source of his concern. but he couldn't just tell satoru.

the black haired little guy looked at his benefactor. his stupid face with a stupid grin megumi just couldn't bring himself to get used to. satoru was chewing on a candy flavor gum. megumi could almost taste the intense flavor from his breath. how could he have something so overly sweet for so long in his mouth?

"what's wrong, little fella? you want to go over why two plus two equals four?" megumi sighed at his words. his worksheet displayed multiplication and division problems. of course he already knew how addition worked.

his tired eyes followed your silhouette as you helped tsumiki with a dna three-dimensional model. you were a lot more thoughtful, more considerate of others' feelings. you had the communication skills satoru lacked. for a second, megumi realized why satoru was with you, something he was questioning the moment he met you.

megumi was going to tell you.

it was the perfect moment. the idiot of your boyfriend was out in a mission and tsumiki had asked for permission to stay at a friend's. megumi was walking next to you. again, he looked lost in thought.

"megumi—," you cut yourself before spitting out the honorific -chan. the little guy hated being called megumi-chan. satoru did it all the time and megumi now can't handle it even if it comes from you. "are you alright? is there something you would like to tell me?" you said almost in a whisper.

the eight-year-old boy looked at you with indifferent eyes. he now was in the deepest of deep thoughts.

you sensed his little body tensing at your question. "hey, hey—, it's okay megumi. I won't tell satoru if you don’t want to, okay?"

his sight softened. bingo. that always worked with the little kid.

"I think... I've caught an interest in someone." megumi muttered below his breath, little fingers fidgeting. his glance on the ground as a deep shade of pink adorned his pale face.

oh, so this is what's about... you were fighting off a big smile that threatened to appear. you needed to remain serene if you wanted megumi to keep opening up to you.

"oh... who?" you said as softly as possible.

"it is a girl. she is nice. but she is from fifth grade." megumi sounded a bit sad. your heart crunched a bit. he was just a third grader. you weren't surprised he liked a girl who was older that him though. the little boy had complained before about his female classmates being a bit too... immature.

"where did you meet her, megumi?"

"from the art club tsumiki is in. I went with her once because I didn't have anything to do, and I saw her. she is very smart and is really good at acrylic painting."

so now everything makes sense. a few days ago, megumi had asked satoru the price for some acrylic paints that weren't made in Japan. you assumed the little girl had mentioned the brand and megumi was curious.

"what do you want to do about it, megumi?" the black haired boy fell silent again, so you continued, "do you want me to help you with getting close to her, or—"

"no, I want to do it on my own," he cut your words quickly with a serious tone. "just maybe... could you help me with some money? I promise to pay it back."

megumi was so cute you were sure your heart would turn into liquid from the way it was melting.

"ha ha! it's totally fine, megumi!" you let out a giggle. "of course I'll help you and you don't have to pay it back, 'kay?" you suggested with a big smile. "and I promise I won't say a word to satoru," you winked at him.

megumi felt relieved.

two weeks had passed since your little arrangement with megumi. he was actually very secretive with it. tsumiki was probably aware of his little crush on her classmate, but wasn't of the deal megumi made with you.

megumi was serious when he said he wanted to do it on his own. he only asked you for 7,000 yen. and that was the last thing you knew about all this.

you were getting ready for bed when satoru interrupted your skincare routine placing a wet kiss on your cheek. you groaned as he prepared to brush his teeth.

"baby, did you know megumi has a girlfriend?" satoru mumbled as toothpaste ran down his perfect chin.

"what?" you acted genuinely surprised. megumi already made her his girlfriend?

satoru grabbed a towel to dry his face and wipe off the counter. he always made a mess when brushing his teeth. "yeah baby. when I picked them up, he said goodbye to a girl, and I mean—! I have never seen him bid farewell to absolutely no one, not even me!" he said a bit exasperated, looking up at you with his baby blue eyes. "im pretty sure that's his girl or something."

poor megumi, his deepest secret was known by his greatest enemy. you sighed softly as you finished applying your lotion and walked close to satoru.

"that could be a possibility, 'toru," your hand roamed through his hard back as the other one went up to fidget with his soft white locks. satoru stared down at you lovingly, his arms encircling you with a tight grip. "but please, do not tease him." you voice was so hard and stern that it made the young sorcerer swallow all the spit in his mouth down his throat.

"yeah baby, no problem—."

"no, satoru, im being serious right now. leave him alone." you were dead serious, satoru knew. his lips moved unconsciously to yours to erase the subtle pout that was starting to form on your face.

"i promise, shnookums," he left a chaste kiss on your nose. "well then, I'll have to tease you tenfold babyyy~!" satoru hugged you with all his mighty force, knocking the air out of you. his large arms made you feel so safe and warm. satoru gave the best bear hugs.

"somebody gotta receive all my love~" you giggled at his words. satoru loves everyone, however many people may find his love language a bit… obnoxious and annoying. his lips now teasing your earlobe while his large hands rubbed your back. "or else my little brains might explode and— wait, baby," his warm lips left your skin, as he opened wide his blue eyes.

"what, what."

"so that is why you made a withdrawal of like seven thousand yen? to give it to megumi?"

"satoru are you checking my bank account?"

"baby I can't help it~," he whined out loud, his face snuggling down your neck while planting wet kisses around your neck. you couldn't help but feel funny when his hands danced under your shirt, caressing your hot skin. "you should end your independency and start using my credit cards."

your boyfriend was so shameless.

[0mysticmidnight0]

Hello, could you write a Rottmnt headcanon about what quirks the turtles would have according to their personalities?

This has been on the back of my head..

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LEO

-I feel like he would just zone out randomly and he'd have a smirk on his face while doing it.

-Definitely raids the kitchen at night for anything Mikey made.

- when he's eating he'd eat anything without realizing. "what are you doing?" "Chewing gum." "that a pen cap.." "So it is.."

- (After the movie) If he can't stop thinking about the incident, he'll subconsciously waddle to Donnie's room and plop down on his bed (while Donnie being in the room doesn't matter). "Wha-? Mmph-! Leo?!" "Scooch over, I need my beauty sleep.."

RAPH

-has a reflex when he's scared. Leo had the unfortunate pleasure of finding out. "BOO! ACK-!" "DONT SCARE ME LIKE THAT!" Leo in the wall: "Noted."

-Has anxiety everytime his brothers go on solo missions but beats himself up for being a worry wart. "must check brothers.. NO RAPH.. THEY CAN HANDLE THEMSELVES.. but-" and it's just back and forth with himself.

-Fiddles with his hands or fingers when he's listening to someone talk

-the type to impulse buy plushies.

MIKEY

-the type to try to act like he has everything together when he doesn't. He helps his family but when he needs help, he's tries to hint that to them, be it very terribly..

"Why didn't you contact me?" "I lost my phone.." "hope you find it soon." "It could be a lot easier if someone were to help me.." "I could call Leo or Raph." "SOMEONE THAT'S HERE-"

-This little guy never paints or draws in normal positions.. "What are you doing upside down on the pull up beam?" "drawing!"

-When he sees that one of his brothers aren't eating, he'll sneak a little plate of something homemade with a little note.

-when he's sad, he'll attach himself to one of his brothers. I MEAN LITERALLY ATTACH.

DONNIE

-Sleeps at random times of the day. It could be like 2pm and he'd be asleep or 12pm. You get it..

-Has backup plans for backup plans.. (I think we all knew that)

-when he's sick, there's a 50/50 chance of him being locked in his room and another 50/50 chance of him constantly looking for his brothers (rare clingy Donnie)

"Wha-?" "We shall not speak of this." "of you hugging me..?"

-sometimes when he can't get the exact look of his idea on a blueprint, he'll ask Mikey to draw it for him and he'll just adjust it to his liking.

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so.. how are you all doing? Been a while hasn't it?

From yours truly,

MysticMidnight

[aph-america]

Shoot For The Moon (AmeRus)

One week after a sexual encounter with a rouge cop, Ivan finds him knocking on his door.

Rating: Mature Word Count: 7,778 Heavily inspired by @smuttyandabsurd's one-shot 'Rocket Man'. It's such a hot read! Thank you for making me feral enough to write all of this. I also want to thank @jestermarotte for this art! I saw what they drew for the OG story and... I got even more feral and had to get more. Beautiful work!

Read here on Ao3 or below!

Ivan couldn’t stop thinking about last week.

He's helpless, unable to escape his encounter with that rogue cop in the Nevadan desert. Caught with a broken tail light, he's pulled over by an officer. One who's stare made his heart pulsate as he wrote him a ticket.

His offer for a bribe only backfired. Said officer had him out of his car and on his knees. Cock on eye level, with an offer to pleasure him to avoid arrest. Reluctantly, he found himself choking on his length. Afterwards, he was free to go, with only a piece of half chewed gum shoved in his mouth as a token of the act.

A piece of gum he chewed on the entire drive back.

At first he’s humiliated and disgusted with himself, but he can't stop his mind wandering. Relentless thoughts about how the younger man so easily got him on his knees. Without much hesitation of his body or language. No snarky remarks, only trembling lips that parted open when ordered.

Such a cocky, unfazed attitude is a rare occurrence. Most people found him intimidating. His height made him look down to have a conversation with the average fellow. But officer Jones didn’t flitch. There’s no scared gleam in his eyes, he only saw his reflection in his sunglasses. The sight of him on his knees, waiting for instructions. Every time he had an erection, he fought touching it. He couldn’t stomach the idea of him jerking off to such an asshole.

One day, when Ivan was finally beginning to move on, he got a knock on his doorbell.

Going down the stairs of his condo, he didn’t bother to check the peephole as he opened the door. His friendly expression turned into shock when he saw the officer. Here, standing at his doorway. Wearing the exact same uniform and glasses. He’s still as tan and handsome as he first remembered him.

“Hey Russki. Mind if I come in?”

Ivan didn’t respond. Aghast expression, questioning his reality. The world is spinning. Lacking a reply, Alfred pushed himself in anyway.

“I’mma take your silence as a yes.” Officer still had that low, southern drawl that Ivan couldn’t escape out of his head. He’s still smacking his jaw with that mint gum. His hands were in his pockets, his way of attempting to appear less intimidating.

“I-I… Uh…” Ivan stuttered as he closed the door behind him. He didn’t want anyone in the neighborhood to get noisy and see a cop at his doorstep. People had a habit of gossiping. He swallowed, closing his eyes for a moment to compose himself.

“Sir, may I ask, what are you doing here?” He opened back his eyes, wide with confusion. Quiet voice as he didn’t want to appear confrontational. His heart raced from fear of whatever this officer could be at his doorstep for. Ivan worries he’s committed another crime. Giving the officer an excuse for even more devious acts.

“I came to apologize. And take you on a date.”

Ivan shook his head in confusion, eyebrows shot up. He’s hearing this man wrong. He had to be. Especially the proposal of a date. He fiddled with the sleeves of his sweater.

“I-I’m sorry. Excuse me?" His voice is exacerbated by bewilderment.                                        

Alfred sighed, leaning against the wall with his shoulder. “Listen. I can’t stop thinkin’ about ya’. At all. You’re special. That mouth of yours is somethin’ different. That body of yours is different. The way you get on your knees is…” Alfred relieved his perfect grin, with his tongue licking his canine. As if he’s predator salivating over his prey.

“I should of been a lil’ nicer to ya’. Sooo…. I’m sorry.”

Ivan’s mouth went dry as he stared at the ground. He processed what the officer had said. His thoughts cranked as his brain tried to put together the puzzle of a situation he’s in.

“You…” He began, looking back up. “You are… sorry, for making me suck you off… on the side of the highway…?” He reiterated the scene to the officer. He kept having to take pauses to push out the full reply.

“Yes, well, uh, I didn’t make ya’, but I shouldn’t have done that. I should have, like… ate your ass in my patrol car or somethin’.” Alfred scratched the back of his neck, his body language for the first time displaying a sense of guilt.

Ivan scoffed, raising a brow. What an entertaining sentence. “Didn’t make me? Oh sir, so when you had me go on my knees and took your cock out, that was not an order?” He recalled, shaking his head.

Alfred shook his head back. “No. I was just sayin’ if you didn’t wanna be arrested, you could just suck me off. If you said no I would have just arrested you.” He retold his point of view.

Ivan narrowed his eyes with an irritated expression. He found the officer's defense of his actions almost cartoonish in humor. Like that, a real person wouldn't utter these words. This had to be a weird wet dream from all the nights replaying the day in his head.

“Well. Sir, you didn’t have to arrest me at all.” Ivan argued, still trying to stay respectful. This cop already proved to behave in an unpredictable manner. A wrong sentence ended Ivan with him on his knees on the side of the road. And a mouth filled with spit and semen.

“Uh, yes I should have.” Alfred put his hands on his waist, above his holstered gun. “Bribing a cop is a felony.” He explained, tilting his head and raising a brow. He chewed on his gum loudly. “Ya’ probably would have gotten fired from your fancy aerospace job.” The cop then stood straight, slipping his hands back into his pockets. His toothy grin appeared on his face. It made Ivan tense up.

“So tell me. If you could go back in time, would ya’ rather me arrest you. Or would ya’ rather gotten on your knees?” His southern drawl lowered at the last words. There's a cockiness in his voice that only Ivan could dream of possessing.

Ivan stayed silent. He looked down to the floor. To his left and his right. Back to the ceiling. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He had no comeback, as there’s truth in the officer’s statement. He rather have a repeat of that then sitting in the back of his car, wearing handcuffs. Another part that caused him to be speechless is the sheer absurdity of the conversation. The man isn’t prepared to reply to such ridiculous questions. His mind isn’t producing any sharp, witty responses. Only stutters and attempts to form composure.

“Wait… Did you come here all the way from Reno?” Memory of what city he was heading to that day made him question the cops sanity. “That is two hours away!” He closed his eyes and shook his head again. Another check on the list of what was wrong with this officer.

“Well, it’s really one hour with the sirens on.” Alfred responded, snorting with a raised brow. More snapping his gum with his jaw. Eyes still hidden under his aviators.

“You, you came one hour to say sorry, in hopes that it would win you a date?” Ivan crossed his arms and leaned in while he questioned the shorter man.

“Uh, yeah?” Alfred replied as if it’s a no brainer. A silly question.

Ivan put his face in his hands, releasing a breath as he shook his head in shock more. The conversation is getting more incredulous each second.

“I’m sorry officer. But, what in the world… Would make you think… That I would go on a date with you?” Ivan asked in a despairing voice. ‘Do I really look as if I have no self respect? Is my lack of self esteem visible?’ Ivan scrutinized himself and how he appeared to others. He saw the light. He must secretly reek of desperation.

“‘Cause I know you liked it.” Alfred shrugged, his aura unbothered. As if everything he said is an undeniable fact.

Ivan scoffed, his mouth parting open. Offended would be an understatement. He tensed up as he crossed his arms again, his fingers digging into his own skin. Blood rushed to his pale face.

“No I did not! How dare you!” He dropped the polite act, as the officer had lost any sense of respect from Ivan at this point.

The officer only laughed at Ivan’s reaction, entertained by it. “Oh, yes you did, lil Russky. Ugh…” Alfred put his hands on his heart, his shoulders drooping as he leaned in. His smile wobbled, his body language read as a heart stricken boy.

“The way you sucked my cock… Slurped it up… and ugh…” He let out a groan and threw his head back. “You started grabbing my hips to steady yourself…” Alfred stood up straight again, hands in pockets.

“You don’t suck cock like that unless ya’ wanna.” Smirking, he chewed his gum. He had a gorgeous smile, one that Ivan had the urge to knock out.

Ivan’s entire face and ears burned as Alfred gushed about his giving head skills. He’s disgusted, yet intrigued. No man has spoken about him in such a manner. He didn’t know how to react to a man pinning after him, and describing him with vulgar language. Even his ex boyfriend wasn’t that graphic.

His pink lips trembled. Ivan wanted to scream at Alfred to go away. That he’s an idiot and a pervert. Nevertheless;

“You do not know what you are talking about…” Was the only response Ivan could muster. In a pathetic tone, one that isn't convincing. He watched Alfred’s face, and despised the sunglasses. He couldn’t read the man with the pair on. But he could see his own reflection. He witnessed how red his cheeks burned. Embarrassment gave him butterflies.

Alfred licked his canine, chuckling again from the display. “I know I’m tellin’ the truth. Because here I got, a thirty year old man. Three feet taller than me, blushing like a schoolgirl.” Alfred’s accent made Ivan feel a sensation in his lower half that he did not want to address. He spoke smooth, with an effortless demeanor. As if nothing is a big deal. Half charming, half infuriating to Ivan.

“Ya’ know, when I like someone, I’m quite the service top.”

Ivan is thankful when Alfred admitted that, since it got him out of his meek blushing. Instead, a humorless laugh escaped his lips from the absurdity of the claim. Ivan put one hand on his beating chest, and another on his hip. He rolled his eyes with disapproval.

“The man, who left me kneeling on the side of the road, is a service top? Ha!” Ivan put his hands on his temples in disbelief. He wondered what it’s like to walk through the world this delusional. So full of one’s self.

Alfred showed frustration at being laughed at. He crossed his arms for the first time, puffing out his chest. “I am! Don’t laugh at me!”

“You, ha, treated me like a cheap whore!”

“Uh, so did you when ya’ offered me fuckin’ three hundred dollars to get out of a ticket!” Alfred defended himself, eyebrow raised, cocky smirk replaced with a snarl.

Ivan shook his head, letting out a few weak chuckles. “That’s not…” he stopped, not bothering to continue this conversation. He took a deep breath to relax his nerves. He placed his hands together and closed his eyes. He returned to using a softer voice, deciding it’s time for this officer to take his leave.

“Alfred.” He began, “I… appreciate you coming to apologize. That is very nice of you. So. I hope you have a good day, and I am sorry for causing you any trouble.” He offered a fake smile, praying it would get this lying cop out of his house.

“Aw, come on, don’t be that way. I know ya’ want me.” Another chew of his gum, and reveal of his white teeth.

Ivan scoffed, shaking his head. “What… What is it like to walk around the world with such audacity? With such arrogance?” The Russian is close to speechlessness. “Are there cameras somewhere? Is this a joke? Is someone going to jump out and offer me a million dollars?” He wondered if a sick joke was being played on him. What a weird sense of humor some folks have.

“I don’t got a million dollars, but I got a mouth I wanna put all over you.” Alfred’s way of biting back is dirty talking back. He desired to see that blushing face again. He took it a step further.

“I bet I could get you moanin’ and tremblin’ without even takin’ your clothes off.” He said it smooth, zero hesitation in his voice. Tongue licked his canine, as if he’s signaling to Ivan he wanted his meal now. Ivan groaned and argued with that accusation more. The pair went back and forth, with Alfred issuing an offer when Ivan kept insisting that wasn't true.

“Ya’ know what? How ‘bout this. I’ll leave, and I won’t bother you again. If, and only if, you admit to me right now that I could. You just don’t want me to prove it.” He stepped closer to Ivan, his hand on the cuffs attached to his belt. The silver matched his watch. 

“Say, Officer Jones. You could make me melt. I just don’t wanna do it right now~” He said in a teasing voice. His smirk is mischievous, as he isn’t letting Ivan get off easily. “I’ll go. But deny it to my face? I’mma have to handcuff you and bend you over that nice sofa of yours to prove it.” His fingers gripped his cuffs, leaning into the red faced Russian in front of him.

“Say it.”

Ivan couldn’t stomach it. He glared at the younger and shorter man in front of him. Such presumptuousness, audacity, and rudeness. He’s never met a man so cocky, yet so correct. He didn’t want to admit the truth. Even if it would lead up to it being proved anyway. Perhaps a part of him wanted it, but feared asking. He leaned in as well, arms crossed with a raised brow.

“Officer Jones…” His eyes narrowed. “Go fuck yourself.” Ivan spat out, harshness in his tone.

Alfred only let out a deep laugh, shaking his head.

“Oh? You really are a lil’ freak. Go be a good boy and bend over there.” Alfred ordered, pointing to the couch. Ivan stayed still, his heart beating a mile a minute. The cop would have to try a bit harder to get him in such a way.

When Ivan didn’t move, Alfred’s grin turned into a grimace. “I said, get over there. Now!” he hissed, in a similar fashion to when last week. How he ordered Ivan to get out of the car and on his knees. He lowered his head, giving Ivan the opportunity to see his eyes. He’s met with furious baby blues, which finally causes him to flinch and do as he’s told. With a pout, he got on his knees on the sofa. His legs hung off as he rested his arms on the top of the furniture. Alfred scrolled along, whistling and swinging his cuffs with his finger.

He walked behind the couch to meet Ivan face to face again. Before cuffing him, he offered Ivan one more moment of mercy. “I’ll give ya’ one more chance.” He said, truthful. A man of his word. Ivan kept quiet, the only movement was the pout on his lips. They were pink and there for Alfred to bruise.

“Mm. Alright. Put ya’ hands behind ya’ back.” He ordered, but gave Ivan a small snatch underneath his chin. The gentle touch made Ivan tense up. He put his hands behind his back, nuzzling his face into the back of his leather sofa. He felt cold metal around his wrist and a click. And with that, he’s cuffed. His behind sticking out with easy access, Alfred could get away with doing whatever he wanted. To Ivan’s surprise, the officer gently massaged his cheeks. It’s a Saturday, so Ivan’s wearing loungewear. His pants were a thin, soft cotton. It made it easy to squeeze all the fat he held there.

The officer kept up the tender touches. His strong hands went down to rub his thighs. Ivan’s body is malleable. The pressure from Alfred’s fingers up and down his legs, and now to his back relaxed him. Up his arms, to his shoulders. He hadn’t expected Alfred to be so careful, but that isn’t a complaint. Lovers were rarely gentle with him, a fact that he not only hated but hated to admit.

The Russian hummed softly, closing his eyes as he relaxed. The officer even began to run his fingers through his hair, which won him a tiny smile. A man playing with his soft, gray locks could make him purr like a kitten. Since Alfred was behind him, he didn’t get to see the officer take his sunglasses off, relieving his eyes. He placed his pair on top of Ivan’s for safe keeping. He barely noticed, his mind preoccupied by how careful Alfred’s touches were.

Giving his gum a final chew, he took the wrapper he saved in his pocket and folded it inside. Sticking it back in his pocket to throw out later, he got on his knees. Face to level with Ivan’s ass, he groped the squishy fat. “You got the ass of a chick. It’s crazy. So soft…” Alfred praised. He began with the behavior that would turn Ivan’s purring into trembling. Holding his hips, he placed a kiss on Ivan’s asscheek. It wasn’t a peck, he moved his lips and touched as if he’s making out. He licked over the thin cotton fabric, paying it no mind. His mouth treated Ivan’s body as if he was naked. Kisses down his thighs, his thumbs pressing into his sides.

Ivan kept his eyes closed, biting his lip as he fought to make any sounds that’d hint that he’s enjoying himself. He only released deep breaths, but it’s enough to encourage Alfred. Ivan feared that the officer's heavy petting would be enough to win his bet. Sadly, it’s been nearly two years since he’s been intimate with someone. His ex left him heartbroken with a bruised self esteem. He decided to drown himself with his career, distract himself with a luxury car and expensive clothes. Avoid going to bars and dating apps. He didn’t need anyone; he’d take care of himself! But with every lick, touch, and grab from the younger man, it proved otherwise. He couldn’t provide himself with the intimacy he desired. Sensation of love making can't be replaced with a fancy watch.

Alfred pushed Ivan’s sweater, revealing his back. The officer slowly kissed up, dragging his lips as he suckled on his pale skin. Each kiss matched the ones from earlier: deep and slow. His tongue drew circles, adding extra saliva. One hand held up his sweater, and the other kept a firm grip on his ass. This finally caused a few moans to escape Ivan’s lips. Embarrassed, he hid his red face on the couch. But it’s useless, he could feel Alfred’s smirk against his skin. The officer knows he’s winning this battle.

He took it a step further when he pulled down the collar of Ivan’s sweater. Exposing his neck, his hot wet mouth sucked on the back. Alfred’s face nuzzled Ivan’s gray soft locks, while his lips and tongue went to work on leaving hickeys. This won gasps from the Russian, whose legs began to shake. The officer discovered his ultimate weakness: his neck.

Nothing made Ivan melt faster than lips or hands around his neck. The less he could breath, the stronger the orgasm.

“Ah, ha…” He gasped, biting his lip. He regretted it, as he could hear the cop chuckle in his ear. A hot tongue went up his lobe, sucking on it. Ivan tensed up, his wrist yanking against the cuffs. An erection grew, one he prayed Alfred didn’t peek.

“Oh… Haha… Your neck a sweet spot, huh?” The officer asked in a husky voice, returning to sucking on his neck. Ivan’s lips trembled, legs tensing up from the jolts of pleasure. Sharp breathes spilling from his lips, he’s losing to Alfred more every moment. How wrong he was to question the officer.

He’s relieved from Alfred’s neck kisses, but only to get tortured further. Alfred went back to rubbing his thighs and asscheeks. Kneeling down again, he spread his ass cheeks and dropped some spit. Which landed on the area exactly where his asshole is. The fabric wet, Alfred rubbed his thumb over it. This instantly rewarded him with tiny cries from his crush. Alfred could feel Ivan’s puckered hole underneath the thin cotton. Feeling devious, he offered a few licks between his ass.

“Oh… oh…” Ivan cried, giving up on hiding his moans. It’s all such a tease- to be touched so intimately but with a barrier. He could feel Alfred’s tongue on his hole, but he yearned for the pants to be pulled down. To not just feel a hot breath in between cotton, but a wet, moist lick. So close, yet so far from true pleasure.

Alfred’s hand did a quick swipe to check for an erection on Ivan. When confirmed, he stood up straight. Desiring playful confrontation, he walked over to the other side of the couch. Now facing Ivan, he used one hand to hold it. Alfred viewed his red face, with trembling pink lips. Those violet eyes kept glancing down, too shy to meet the officers. The aviators that Alfred had placed on Ivan’s head for safe keeping were still there. Cushioned with Ivan’s soft gray locks, the officer plucked them from his head and returned to wearing it. Ivan would have to wait again for an opportunity to see Alfred’s baby blues.

“So, you gunna tell me I was right or not?” He mocked with pride. A toothy grin, showing off his cockiness. How could he not be? He managed to talk his way into getting his crush handcuffed and bent over the couch. Said crush is now moaning and squirming under him. This only encouraged such proud behavior. His thumb rubbed on Ivan’s lower lip.

“Come on, baby doll. Where’s your manners? A man of the law is talkin’ to ya’.” Ivan isn’t sure if he’s thankful that Alfred had ceased calling him ‘Russkie’. It had been replaced by baby doll, and he hadn’t decided if it’s humiliating or arousing. He avoided glancing up. Alfred’s voice dripped with condescension.

“...I like it…” Ivan confessed, as Alfred wouldn’t shut up until admitted. Eye leveled to the officers crotch again, he saw a large bump pressing against his pants. He fought back the urge to stick out his tongue. As if his mouth desired to be filled by it.

“Mm, you want more?”

Ivan nodded, closing his eyes. It’s all he wanted. More.

“Well, then you gotta tell me. Say, ‘Sir, can you please put your tongue up my ass?’” Alfred came with zero mercy. His cuffed crush would need to beg for any touch. Respectfully.

Ivan’s lips trembled again, his face burning from arousal and embarrassment. He couldn’t recall a time a man spoke to him in such a manner. So dominating, yet playful. Clearly in charge, but had a sweetness to it. He finally looked, meeting Alfred’s gaze. Again, he only saw his reflection behind the aviators. On his knees, face red, just as the week prior. Instead of Alfred having his hand on his cock, he’s caressing his face. He preferred this sight.

“... Sir, can you please put your tongue up my ass…?” He caved, muttering such shameful words. He couldn’t lie anymore, he’d say anything to feel Alfred’s face pressed between his legs. His lips kissing down his bare thighs, his tongue on his needy hole.

The officer licked his canine. Ivan questioned how those teeth would feel on his neck. Alfred leaned in, with Ivan able to smell the mint on his breath again. It took him for the first time; how Alfred had leaned inside his car. How the smell of mint and aftershave hit his nose. How his heart raced out of fear; nervous about the interaction with the cop who pulled him over.

His heart raced now for different reasons.

“Oh, baby doll, I’ll give you whatever you ask for.”

Alfred bent over to give a hot, strong kiss. Their lips moved against each other, with Alfred’s tongue pushing inside him Ivan could taste the mint, and it brought him back to their first kiss. Instead this time, he isn’t frozen in shock like before. He matched Alfred’s energy and aided in a passionate make out.

Standing straight, he walked back behind Ivan. He grabbed the waist of his pants, pushing them down to his knees. Finally exposed is his asscheeks, with Alfred whistling at the sight before him.

“God damn…” He groaned, squeezing Ivan’s bare cheeks. He chuckled when he spread them, revealing his hole. “Aw, ain’t this pretty and pink…” He purred, teasing Ivan as he rubbed it with his thumb. It won him a gasp, with him reacting with a smirk and a slap to his cheek. “Now, these cheeks I think need some color…” Another hard smack, with Ivan tensing and crying out. He adored getting spanked. Other than his neck, it’s another tactic to make him melt.

“You like that?”

Smack

“Mhm…” Ivan agreed in a weak moan. Carnal needs overtaking all pride to fight.

“Well, ain’t you a lil’ slut…” Alfred hissed, grabbing Ivan by the back of the head. He yanked it back, causing Ivan to whimper. “Ow… I am not a slut…” He argued, his tone sounding hurt. Lips pouting, he worried that these interactions would cause Alfred to think less of him. Even if it sounded crazy, Ivan usually wouldn’t let just any man handcuff him in his living room. Alfred is simply an…exception.

“Heh. It’s okay if you a little bit of a whore. I don’t judge.” Alfred spoke, letting go of Ivan’s hair.

“... I have not had sex in two years…” Ivan confessed, hiding his face in the sofa out of embarrassment.

Alfred blinked, tensing up. “Uh, really…?” He questioned, his bow raised. His hand ran down his back and rested on his crush’s hip.

“... Yes…”

Alfred’s expression went guilty, his lips pursing. His thumbs massaged Ivan’s hips. Soft skin under his strong hands. “Oh, uh… I guess ya’ more innocent than I thought…” He let out an awkward laugh. “Sorry for assuming you're a nasty lil’ freak.”

Ivan shrugged, his face still nuzzling the sofa. “I can be… I just… Not all the time. You were being gentle, I… I really liked it…” He confessed. Even cuffed up and bent over, he’s weak to gentle touches and care. He craved them, they were rare in his world.

Alfred raised a brow, going to his pocket to reach for his key. Unlocking the cuffs, he threw them aside. Along with his sunglasses. Hands free, Ivan grabbed the sofa back and rested his arms. He felt Alfred’s fingers go up his sides, pushing up his entire sweater. He leaned, his lips going at Ivan’s neck again. All the kisses were sweet like before. Cock throbbing, he’s close to begging for contact.

“Is that what ya' want? You want me to treat you all sweet and gentle?” The officer purred, nipping at his earlobe. Ivan nodded, humming as he tensed under him. His body burned, this desire unfathomable. He couldn’t recall the last time a man made him want to give everything he could. Submit in every form possible, handing over all control. He didn’t want to think, command, or boss around. He needed a man to take charge. Put him in his place in a way no one else could.

Ivan couldn’t see Alfred’s eyes narrow, as all the pieces came together. “Y'know what? I think I get your deal. You like being treated all sweet. You just embarrassed ‘bout it, so you need a little, uh, push.” He explained, chuckling in Ivan’s ear. Such an accurate analysis left Ivan whining.

“You want someone to treat you like a precious lil’ thang? I bet most don’t. They think you can’t break, huh?” He teased, his tongue wetting Ivan’s neck. Ivan’s fully in his grasp, as there’s no going back. Alfred had him.

“Sorry for the spanks. I’ll be nicer to that fat ass of yours.”

Ivan whined, shaking his head. He didn’t need Alfred thinking he disliked it. “No, I- I love it. I do not mind you being… A little rough…” He spoke honestly. Love making mixed in with spanking and neck bites were perfect. Not too vanilla, it made him feel cared for yet submissive in the perfect blend. He couldn’t recall the last time a man could fuck him in such a mixture.

“Mmm, sugar with some spice, huh?” Alfred teased, standing straight and adding another hit to Ivan’s ass. Such strong arms made it sting. He kneeled again, his face inches away from Ivan’s behind. “I got you. Don’t worry.” His husky voice said, with a drawl. Wasting no time, he stuck out his tongue and gave a long lick between his cheeks. The tip of his tongue swirled the hot ring of flesh. This sent waves of pleasure through Ivan’s lower half. He squeezed the sofa top, throwing his head back to look behind him. All he could see was his bright blond hair, and his hands squeezing his ass.

Alfred’s kisses on his hole mocked the one he got planted earlier. Hot, wet, passionate. The officer groaned, offering a hard slap on Ivan’s ass. His kisses went down to his hanging pair, giving his delicate sac suckles. More deep kisses on his cheeks, clearly attempting to leave a hickey. Enthusiastic would be the best word to describe Alfred. He had vigor in every hit, kiss, and lick. Everywhere his tongue went, not leaving a single part of his ass or upper thighs without a kiss. He used both hands to smack Ivan’s cheeks, winning a cry of pleasure. Ivan could feel the hot breath of groans on his ass. He couldn’t question if Alfred was enjoying himself as the officer smothered his face in his behind.

Both of their moans and gasps for air filled the room. Alfred began to talk in an almost desperate tone. “You're so fuckin’ hot…” He panted, with Ivan feeling his hot breath on his hole. “You’re perfect…” He complimented, giving kisses to his cheeks. “God damn it!” He groaned, his tone switching from desperate to aggressive. He offered a hard hit to Ivan’s cheek, making the other man whimper. “I’mma make you mine.” Alfred then stood so he could lean over Ivan’s back. He held the taller man’s hips, as his tongue licked a bare spot on Ivan’s neck. Said bare spot got a hard bite, one that made Ivan squeeze the sofa and yell. His cock twitched, more bites to his neck and shoulder. His eyes watered; Alfred’s perfect smile was sharp. But even as a few tears dripped down his cheeks, he’d savor every bite. Every suggestion of possession. His heart raced, his body burned, his cock twitched. His needs are insatiable. They wouldn’t stop there. They couldn’t.

“I want you inside me…” Ivan begged in a breathless voice. Alfred responded by licking his neck and going to his ear. “You want me inside you? Fuck you like you’re mine?” His raspy voice made Ivan tense, he’s not used to such possessive language. He questioned if he should be checking Alfred’s tone and comments. The officer could be knocked down a peg or two.

Ivan gave Alfred a ‘shoo’ hand movement, signaling the man to remove his tongue and hands. “I will… grab what we need upstairs…” He said, attempting to stand. However, Alfred had other plans. He grabbed Ivan’s hips and flipped him over, causing him to fall back into the sofa. Leaning forward and getting between his legs, he used his hands to grab the underneath of Ivan’s thick thighs. Ivan wrapped his arms and legs around Alfred’s as a natural reaction. Being lifted in the air, Ivan began to panic. Anytime a man lifted him in such a manner, he’s dropped. He had no hope that the cop wouldn't have a similar story.

“Alfred! Put me down!” He demanded, swatting at Alfred’s shoulder. The officers' strength over powered Ivan’s whining, as he walked up the stairs. He carried Ivan as if he weighed nothing, Hands gleefully squeezed Ivan’s ass cheeks as he smirked. “Be quiet. I got you.”

“You’re going to drop me!” Ivan whined, holding Alfred tighter as his heart raced. Each step up the stairs caused his chest to tingle in fear. As if his body is waiting for Alfred to drop him. His breathing calms down when they finally make it up the stairs. In shock, he looks down at the officer. His arms are wrapped around his neck, with Alfred smiling up at him. His eyes were gentle, less intimidating without the sunglasses. His tan face had freckles adoring his nose and cheeks. A gentle smile on his lips for the first time. Ivan didn’t even notice that the officer had brought him to his bedroom. Caressing his face, he lets out a yelp as Alfred playfully throws Ivan on his bed.

He laughed as he bounced back, his legs spread as his hands ran across his own chest. Alfred licked his canine and smirked at him.

“Now, where ya' hide everything at?” He asked, raising a brow. Ivan rolled to his side and crawled to his dresser, as he reached for the bottom drawer. Alfred came behind, taking advantage of the position by running his fingers over the hickeys on Ivan’s thighs and ass. He could see a box of condoms in the drawer out of the corner of his eye.

“You said you haven’t fucked in a few years, but what you got all those condoms for?” He questioned, a brow raised. Ivan grabbed one and placed it next to him, along with some lube. “I said I haven’t had sex in two years, not that I haven’t had something inside me.” He addressed in a matter of fact tone. Alfred nodded, putting two and two together, his lips forming a quiet ‘oh’. Ivan rolled on his back, his eyes inspecting Alfred. “Now, why am I the only one naked?” He pouted. The officer was dressed, even his shirt hadn’t been unbuttoned much. Ivan yearned to see what’s underneath.

Alfred grinned, his fingers going to unbutton his uniform shirt. Ivan watched with his own little smile; he had fantasized about what the officer looked like naked. Now he’d bear witness if Alfred will fulfill or disappoint. The cop threw the uniform shirt on the floor, and then took off his white under shirt. Ivan bit his lip, Officer Jones was muscular. His intuition came via the muscles that he could see on his arms through his uniform. But shirtless he got to see Alfred’s full form. The officer caught his crushes stares.

“Like what ya' see?” He teased, eyeing Ivan’s erection. He crossed his legs to hide it.. “Mm. Maybe.” Ivan flirted. Alfred’s undoubtedly handsome, and he didn’t stop eyeing him while he dropped his trousers and boxers. He’s distracted by his half hard cock, it’s as big as he remembered it. His lips parted, having crude wishes.

Strong arms, chest, thighs- he could see how Alfred is able to lift him up the stairs. Lost in his staring, he’s interrupted by Alfred climbing on top of him. Leaning in, they exchanged a passionate kiss. Lips pressing against each other, Ivan ran his fingers through Alfred’s bright blond locks. He could feel sturdy hands on his hips. Groaning underneath the make out, the pair enjoyed the sensual moment. When Alfred pulled away, he offered a gentle smile. Ivan’s thumb traced his bottom lip. With his face so close, he got the pleasure of taking in Alfred’s features. Freckles, dimples on his cheeks, bright blue eyes. Full lips and soft hair.

“You know, you have a boyish face and gentle eyes. I think I understand why you wear those sunglasses all the time…” Ivan pointed out, winning his first blush out of Alfred. He giggled, pleased with himself that he made the charmer turn red.

“I know. This face ain’t intimidating.” His eyes flickered away as if he’s embarrassed about it.

“I like that.” Ivan said simply, a soft smile on his lips. Before he could say additional sweet talk, he got off of Ivan so he could roll him over. Ivan let out a laugh as he got to his knees. He heard Alfred squirt lube on top of his fingers and then felt the cold, wet liquid against his hole. “I hate how cold it is…” Ivan complained. He knew it wouldn’t take long to warm up soon, though.

“I know, lube is all gooey an' cold… Oil is better…” He agreed. “But, ya can’t use it with condoms… Unless…” He slipped in one finger, with Ivan humming as first before snorting out a laugh.

“Let you fuck me without a condom? That is funny…” He jested, sitting on his knees so he could hold onto the headboard of his bed. Alfred raised a brow to that reply, speeding up his fingering. It caused Ivan to let out tiny whines of pleasure.

“You would let me if I was your boyfriend…”

“You, my boyfriend? That’s even funnier.” The fingering kept Ivan’s voice from sounding too snarky.

Ivan gasped, gripping the headboard as he let Alfred finger him. He wouldn’t admit out loud, but he’s grateful to feel fingers that weren’t his own. It’s a luxury to throw his head back and let another man do the work. He felt kisses on his ass and thighs, the gentle care getting him to smirk. Throwing a look over his shoulder, he decided it’s his turn to push buttons.

“Mmm… If you'd done this to me last week, I would have gone on a date with you…” Ivan confessed, smirking as he pushed himself against Alfred’s fingers. He heard the cop whine, and grab one of his cheeks.

“What? Really?!” He whined as if Ivan made a shocking statement.

“Mhm…” Ivan raised a brow, finally able to see Alfred’s expression. He licked his lip. “And if you were a good boy during the date, I would probably take you back to the hotel…” The officer's jaw dropped, letting out a ‘what!’. He kept steady fingering him, but had an expression of disappointment on his face

“Mmm… And you know…” Ivan’s voice is husky as he mocked him, moans slipping out. “I work from home a lot. I could have come over a night or two this week…” He teased, with Alfred’s reaction priceless. He looked like a kicked puppy, as a whine escaped.

“What?! But, uh, you’ll come over now right?” There’s desperation in his voice. He sped up his fingering while his free hand massaged his ass cheek. Ivan’s cock twitched.

“Fuck no.” Ivan spat out, closing his eyes and throwing his head back. His lips parted while he moaned. Alfred is hitting all the right spots. He did his best to take control of the conversation.

“You want it? You must come here.” He stated, pointing down to his bed. And he meant it. There needed to be some punishment to hold over Alfred’s head. Currently, letting the officer fuck him in his own bed is not one of them. If anything, it probably made Alfred feel as if he’s off the hook.

“I’ll come over once I like you enough.”

More whines left Alfred’s mouth, his shoulder’s slumping. Ivan knew a mid twenties man, hearing that he could have banged Ivan several times in a matter of a week is shattering to his ego. Ivan personally didn’t find it to be a long time, but the sad noises from the other man showed he did.

“Alright…” He muttered, focusing on stretching Ivan out. The Russian could see in the corner of his eye his intense expression. As if his plan is to fuck Ivan as good as possible.

There’s no complaints from Ivan on that front.

Hot and bothered, he shooed Alfred’s hand. He then sat on his knees, his hands placed on the top of his pale thighs. “You can put on the condom.” He instructed, his voice breathless. He attempted to catch it as his heart raced. Ivan’s face flushed, as his own hand went to relieve the tension in his cock. A few gentle strokes even made him flex. He could hear the wrapper, while he tapped his fingers on his thighs and cock. He took a moment to reflect.

Was he really going to do this? Was this crazy? Irresponsible? Reckless? He’s using protection, he noted to himself. He’s in the safety of his own home, not on the side of the road. Alfred had respected any sexual request from Ivan. He did know Ivan’s address, which worried him if he ended up sucking in bed. He’d have to tell a cop who has his address to kick rocks!

‘Who cares. Let’s have fun…’ Ivan’s inner debate ended.

He turned his head to get a look at the officer. Scrambling to put a condom and lube on, violet eyes scanned his tan, muscular body. Ivan bit his lip as he grinned, deciding to lean into his lust. He even took it step further. “I want you to handcuff me again.” He asked, getting off by Alfred’s reaction. The younger man’s eyes went wide, with his perfect grin matching. With haste, Ivan got to see him go hunt for the cuffs. Conveniently they were in the pockets of his pants that were on the floor. Ivan put his hands behind his back without question, feeling the metal tighten on his wrist. A tiny gasp escaped, his cock twitching from excitement.

“Alright, c’mere!” Alfred said, gripping Ivan’s hips. Pulling him closer, this caused his head to fall into the pillows of his bed. Face down, ass up, a covered tip on his hole. Ivan took a deep breath to relax his nerves.

“Just tell me if I need to slow down, okay?” Alfred proceeded to push the tip of his cock inside him. Gentle and slow, he went a little deeper but paused when he heard a sharp gasp from Ivan.

“You okay…?” Alfred asked, his tone hushed but concerned. Ivan nodded, “Keep going…” Following his lead, he continued pushing inside of him. The tightness and warmth made Alfred groan, while the feeling of being so full caused a loud gasp out of Ivan.

“Oh my god!” He exclaimed in Russian. Wheezing for air, the sensation was intense. His toys weren’t as big as the officer, and it had been so long with an actual man. He tensed around his cock once it’s fully inside, unable to restrain himself. His fingers circled up into fist. Gasping for air, he took a moment to relax himself. Alfred began to massage his ass and lower back, attempting to calm down his crush. He bit his lip as he looked down. “Fuck…” Alfred cursed, waiting for Ivan to give the go to start moving.

“You can move…” Ivan whined, nuzzling his face into the pillow. Alfred did so, starting his thrust carefully. Both hands on his waist, he joined in on the moaning. Little smacks against each other's flesh filled the room. One hand slid from his waist to the handcuffs around Ivan’s wrist. Alfred's hand tightened around, yanking it so he’d have more control. Ivan’s lips trembled, as the pleasure of being so full made it impossible to hide his reaction. He’s dreamed for someone to be deep inside of him, for a hard cock to press against spots that made him groan. For him to see stars, and have that desire to make it happen again. He yearned to yearn after someone. The way he’d crawl on a lover’s waist, give a pout and ask to be taken. To feel a man’s fingers dig into his hips, sharp teeth bite his neck and shoulder. All the sensations the officer gifted him. It all depended on how powerful the orgasm would be if he'd let the man grace his doorstep again.

The officer kept up a steady pace, never going hasty. He’d do a sharp thrust, pull away slowly, and slam back in. Each time making Ivan cry out. Alfred isn’t quiet himself, groans escaping his lips. The mattress creaked underneath them. Drips of Ivan’s own drool on his pillow, as his mouth gaped. He wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t last long. He felt full, with every inch of his body on fire. Naturally tensing around Alfred’s cock, it’s a feeling he missed and could never get used to.

Needing one more act to send him over the edge, he managed to verbalize a request. “Pull my hair!” His voice was out of breath. Ivan felt fingers comb through his hair before he’s yanked up. The pain of his hair being used to hold him up only aroused him. He could feel a hand gripping his waist. Fingers digging into his flesh. No restraint, Ivan let the orgasm take over him. His legs began to shake, unable to stay still. He pulled at the handcuffs, so hard that he’d probably have red marks on his wrist later. Unfiltered cries came out, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes. 

Alfred must have been able to tell he’s coming, as he sped up himself. He had uttered a few phrases earlier, but Ivan didn’t catch a word. All his mind could focus on were the waves of pleasure flowing through him. Alfred let go of his hair, with Ivan’s head falling into a pillow. Alfred laid on top of him, the pair gasping for air. The officer still had enough energy in him to lift himself up by his arms. Covered in sweat, he looked down to a panting Ivan.

“Can… can I get that date now…?”

“...Ah… Fine…”

[diorcities]

strawberries & cigarettes

pairing: haechan (donghyuck) x reader. genre: angst, smut towards the end, fluff? content: enemies to lovers, slow burn, college au, boyband, boyband!haechan, love triangule, kinda?, karina as jeno's s/o, ningning. they're on a play. haechan's a dick, reader's a dick. a lot of cussing. female masturbation, oral sex (male receiving), virginity, unprotected sex, breeding kink. mention of alcohol, marihuana, sharing bed. wc: 15,9k readproof taglist: @sundamariis — @smwhrinthehaze <3

summary: the art school's play is in two days and you're running out of time to put everything together since your known enemy lee donghyuck decided that the rehearsal day was the perfect day to release a launch party for his new album.

"stop!" your voice reverberates on the four walls of the school of arts' auditorium, leaving everyone present perplexed and immobile; they believe that any movement might trigger armageddon. not that you aren't already upset. "tell me it's a joke. jisung, tell me it's a joke," you ask your assistant, who is more useful for carrying your things than assisting with important matters.

"it's a..."

"shut up, i don't want to hear it." your gaze sweeps the room, and as it passes, their eyes avoid yours, refusing to make contact. a sigh escapes your lips as you glance at your wristwatch. it's 22:48. "i don't have time to repeat for the thousandth time what you have to correct, you..." you pause, waiting for the girl in the middle of the stage to remind you of her name.

"yeji," she says. "sure," is her only response. "jisung, who's next?" you ask, watching the boy nervously scan the character list. "benvolio," he replies, trembling more than usual. you give him a bored look before instructing him to bring in the next person. "uh... i'm afraid renjun isn't here," he explains.

"renjun is...?" you repeat, having no idea who he is. "benvolio. he's the guy who plays benvolio," he blurts out, speaking so quickly it takes you a moment to process his words. jisung looks up from the ground and is likely convinced you've lost your mind. you're getting there. "alright," you manage to reply, your teeth grinding as you clench your jaw. "and the next one?" you ask, "the character, jisung," you insist, preventing him from mentioning another name you can't remember. "well... romeo and juliet are missing," the boy informs you tensely, your unnerving calm unsettling him.

"did you call them?" the boy nods, "they aren't answering." jisung awaits your response, which comes without delay. "can anybody tell me where everyone is!?" you explode, provoking a range of reactions. jisung covers his head with the list as if the ceiling were about to cave in, the spotlight assistant accidentally shifts the spotlight, and the girl in the middle of the stage lets out a shriek.

"it's almost midnight, it's friday," he tries to explain. "the play is on monday," you remind him, pointing a finger. the girl's voice captures your attention. "what did you say?"

"i said they're at the dream society party." those words hold no meaning for you. the idea that you should be aware of such events only fuels your growing anger. "can you explain what the dream society is?" you ask, using all your willpower to avoid shouting. "it's the band, the rock band," jisung explains. you look at him disapprovingly. "the entire school is there; it's the party for their new album," the girl continues. "renjun, benvolio, romeo, and juliet are probably there."

you contemplate for a few seconds, chewing gum furiously, almost able to hear jisung's heart pounding as he waits for your reaction. "okay, we're going to that party." the boy's eyes widen. "do you know where it is?" you ask. "y-yes, yes. it's in..." he stops suddenly, his eyes wide in recollection.

"what now, jisung?" you ask, heading for the exit. "lights off! you can go home," you inform, hearing the relief behind you. "well, uh...," you hear him say. "no stuttering; you know i hate it," you interject. the boy clears his throat before continuing.

"well, the dream society... the band... the party. you're going to kill me if i don't tell you."

"i want to kill you already," you mutter, encouraging him to continue. "it's made up of students, from the art school," he says. "okay, you're not telling me anything," you mumble, walking down the halls toward the parking lot. "you know some of them," he insists. "i doubt it."

"jeno," he mentions. you try to remain composed as you search for your car keys. "chenle, mark, and... donghyuck," he blurts out just as you find the keys. his sigh of relief quickly turns to annoyance. jisung must be joking. "there's more..." he continues, nervously. you spin on your heels and stare at him. jisung knows how cautious you are about any mention of donghyuck; you'd react with rage if you heard his name. one of the rules he must adhere to is not to make contact with donghyuck. if he did, you had several options: ignore him, curse him, or your favorite, punch him in his pretty face. but you're not in the mood to scold him for mentioning donghyuck's name, even though it's forbidden, so you push him to continue. "go on."

"the party is at his house."

act one.

"look up romeo and juliet. i'll go for benvolio," you order jisung as soon as you park. by now, you have become fed up with the party unfolding outside of your comfort zone (your car): sweaty bodies, music blaring in your ears, people, and forced conversations. it has become a hotbed for your patience. you take a couple of breaths before leaving.

you follow jisung to the entrance of the house as a somehow shield to the world; no one expects you to be there, and so making an appearance at your enemy's house could lead to a whole misunderstood, something you don't want to feed on. you need to get out of there soon. once inside, both have gone in different directions to cover more ground and, therefore, get out of that place as quickly as possible and go back to the well-being of the auditorium. your eyes look in all directions in search of the lost characters in your work, and also in case you see someone in the crowd. As you move towards the house's entrance, the music becomes louder, and more people start crowding. the smell of weed reaches your nose, causing you to wince. your hand quickly covers it when you collide with jisung's back. "hey!" you yell at him, about to tell him to focus on the target when your eyes flick from his body to the person blocking the way.

lee donghyuck.

"look who we have here, the lap assistant, and the movie star," he whistles. you notice jisung clench his fists ready to step out for you (which you don't thank him enough) before you move him out of the way and face him. the approach has to be friendly; it's his house. if you want him to let you in, both will have to leave the feud for another day. "look… you," you name, causing the boy to shrug. "you didn't call me an idiot; that's progress," he says. you take a breath of air before continuing. "we only want to look for the boys from the drama club, nothing more. let us in, and we won't bother you," you explain, with wounded pride that you have to give in. but sometimes, you have to give in to win.

"those from the drama club," he repeats. "yes, benvolio, romeo, and juliet," you reply. donghyuck frowns, "who?"

you grit your teeth and look at jisung for support. "karina, renjun, and jeno," the boy explains. donghyuck raises his eyebrows in realization, bringing a hand to his chin. you look at him reluctantly, feigning a grimace that doesn't reveal your annoyance. "it's not possible," he says finally. you're stunned for a few seconds, watching him look at you with amusement. "pardon? how is it not possible?"

"we'll play in a few minutes; jeno is our bass player. you can't just take him with you and leave like that," he explains. "dnd Renjun?" jisung asks. "ah..., i don't care about renjun," he says, shrugging.

"okay, okay. you keep jeno," you resolve, looking at jisung, seeking support in your decision. "we'll look for renjun, then," you add, nodding. "well, nice to see you, but we're going." you say your goodbyes, exhausted from being nice, taking jisung's hand and pushing him towards the house, being stopped by the fact that donghyuck doesn't move an inch to let you pass. "yeah… there's a little problem for you guys," he blurts out, looking suddenly embarrassed. "you're not invited to the party."

"you must be kidding," you finally mumble, making donghyuck smile triumphantly. "can't you stop being an idiot for a moment?" you feel jisung's hand on your arm, warningly. the friendly approach: forget it. your tetra: forget it. The possibility that he would let you into the party: forget it. "okay, there are things more important than your stupid band and your fucking existence." donghyuck looks at you with fascination. "there it is, the real yn."

"fuck off." it's too late. you're furious beyond fuming, rabid. you could explode right now and bring everything down. donghyuck's laugh makes you angrier. without being able to avoid it, your hands go to his chest, pushing him. however, the boy doesn't stop laughing. "you're a childish, dipshit jerk," you say, with each push. "fuck off!"."

"you've already said it."

"i hope you enjoy your damn party, you jerk," you spat, noticing jisung's grip on your arm, turning away from the boy with an amused look. "have I told you how cute your eyes look when you're angry?" his comment only makes you angrier. you release jisung's grip only to flash your middle finger in response, letting him finally lead you to your car. "idiot," you mutter, covering your face in an attempt to calm down. "maybe we should go ho…" you hear the boy next to you say. "break in," you interrupt, defiant. jisung nods slowly, exhaling. "break in, understood."

your eyes light up as an idea occurs to you. the trick is that nobody recognizes you and wants to alert donghyuck. "take off your jacket," you order. "and i need you to take my car," you add, causing jisung to stop his movements to do as you requested. sometimes you're grateful that the boy is willing to do whatever you order. among all the chaos, you like him. but you would never tell him. you snap your fingers for him to react. "he must think we left for my plan to work," you explain. "you will take my car for about two blocks. when i find benvolio, we'll meet there," you continue. "understood?"

jisung nods quickly before offering you the jacket. you rush to put it on and hand him your car keys. jisung gives a lucky thumbs-up before you approach the party again. you let your hair down to make the perfect curtain to cover your face, and with jisung's jacket, it's impossible for people to remember you. after all, no one knows you. spending time in the auditorium between classes and breaks in high school made you almost invisible. besides, your foul humor made it impossible to make friends. you knew the drama club. that was your social circle.

you're able to crash the party without regard. you almost jump with excitement if it weren't for the fact that you have to continue with the act until you find benvolio and drag him out of that place. his irresponsibility makes your jaw ache from grinding your teeth so much. the sweet desire to shout at them encourages you to search carefully. "yn?" someone takes you by the shoulder and gently turns you around. juliet's face looks at you, confused.

as if looking at you brings back her memory, she gently taps her forehead. "crap, i forgot. the drama club."

"yes, the drama club," you repeat with difficulty. "i know the lines, seriously." you doubt it. "it's just… jeno." that name. "is performing today, and i wanted to come to support him." jeno. jeno. jeno. juliet and jeno, best friends and neighbors. with those odds, you just couldn't compete. "are you okay?" she asks, concerned. maybe your face has turned red. "great," you blurt out. "now, if you'll excuse me," you say goodbye, stopping suddenly as you remember something. "you haven't seen me, is that clear?" you watch her nod before continuing to search.

okay, juliet: no. romeo: neither. benvolio, then.

you slip through the crowd, going unnoticed, hardly. people look at you strangely every time you take them by the shoulder and turn them around, hoping to find Benvolio in one of them. it seems like you're playing a game of turning over the cards until you find your match. back here, it's not benvolio. back there, it's not romeo. you find him later talking to donghyuck in a corner, and like a repellent, you go to the opposite side. you wait the time it takes for that conversation to end, and you follow him to the drinks bar.

"yn, what are you doing here?" jeno looks at you quite confused when you approach him. being at a teen party was one of the last places he'd expect to find you. honestly, he's right. "oh, i don't know," you mumble, exaggerating every word. "perhaps looking for answers as to why my characters are at a party and not in the auditorium." you watch jeno nod slowly, though he doesn't look at all guilty of that recrimination. "i apologize," he says, "but since you're here, you can stay. i'll make sure to dedicate one of our songs to you as a form of apology." you would have given in at that moment and place, except for one: you don't like rock, and two: someone catches jeno's attention.

"hey jeno!" you freeze as you hear someone calling romeo through the music. jeno waves somewhere behind you, purely by coincidence or fate, where you have seen donghyuck chatting with a girl. "this isn't over, romeo," you threaten, ready to leave before finding out if the person approaching you is donghyuck.

as you turn and flee, your face collides with a smooth yet hard surface. you caress your nose (two time in one night? it must be a record), looking up at the rest of the chest that you hit your septum on, meeting a pair of eyes that seem to shine. "oh shit, are you okay?" he asks, looking concerned. "great," you hiss. the boy moves with a spasm. "i'm really sorry." sure, he is. he looks at you for longer than usual, as if he remembered something. "wait, romeo?" he asks.

"mmm…" jeno nods. "we're in the drama club," he explains. the starry-eyed boy hisses. "i guess you're juliet," he says in your direction. "you guessed wrong," you mutter. even though that answer would have been enough to deter people from talking to you, the boy finds it funny. his laughter is heard above the music, and consequently, jeno starts laughing too. thus, you do too. "she's our director," jeno mentions. the boy nods several times, weighing the words of the black-haired man. "impressive," he says at the end, raising his hand above his head to simulate an imaginary ladder, "very impressive. my congratulations."

"thank you," you reply, suddenly feeling weird. no one has reacted like that. as if they take it for granted that it's impressive in and of itself. the star boy shrugs as if it's nothing. as if it's easy for him to spontaneously compliment people. "wait, if you're the director, that would make you…"

"shakespeare," you both say in unison. genuinely smiling is not common for you. you can see it; jeno has to look at you twice to make sure you're actually smiling. on the other hand, the star boy must think you smile often, go to parties every day, and that jeno is your friend. "have you seen renjun?" you ask jeno, remembering why you came. you watch him think before his gaze gets lost in the ocean of people. his eyes widen slightly as he finds something in the crowd. he points his finger behind the starry-eyed boy, and your gaze follows the path until it falls on renjun, talking to donghyuck, a few meters from you.

as if your gaze can sense it, donghyuck returns your gaze, at first distracted, without recognizing you, until you can feel his brain alerting him to look a second time. however, you react automatically, grabbing the boy by the shoulder, and he instinctively leans forward, within reach. your face moves closer to his, lips going to his lips.

first, there is no reaction. just your lips touching. your body is completely tense from being so close to finding benvolio, when a sudden movement causes your thoughts to shut up. the boy's lips begin to move on top of yours.

he's kissing you.

uour hands are still on his shoulders, and his hand goes to one of them, taking it between them and guiding it to his neck, before slipping out of your hand, onto your shoulder, resting on your back, drawing you closer to him.

his eyelashes tickle your cheeks, and his lips, soft, kiss yours. slowly. your head tilts to the sides when they change position. the spell of a kiss is broken without warning when his lips move away from yours. your eyes widen quickly as donghyuck takes him by the shoulder and pulls him away from you. finally, his death glare falls on you.

donghyuck gives jeno a look before taking your arm and dragging you toward the exit. you try to wriggle out of his grip, but the boy is pretty strong, and his grip is pretty hard. "i can find my way out on my own, cretin," you hiss at him, trying to get rid of him to no avail. "you are a jerk. i want you to know that." you keep ranting as he leads you to the exit. "you bumbling buffoon, always have to mess things up. how i hate you," you blurt out, seeing that you're past the exit.

your hand instinctively goes to his arm, feeling it tense under your touch.

"the exit is that…"

"shut the fuck up," he hisses, leading them into a desolate hallway. he drops you between the wall and him. he looks quite angry, his hands are clenching and unclenching into fists, and his breathing is rough. his eyes finally look at you, burning with rage. "what the hell are you doing?" he releases. "shit, are you like this because i snuck into your part…?" you say before he interrupts you. "what were you doing kissing mark?" he asks. you're afraid he will release fire at any moment.

you find yourself not knowing what to say, watching his hardened features and shadowed eyes looming over you. without noticing it until that moment, you fall into the account of their bodies, almost brushing against each other. your arguing breaths intertwining in the air in between. your gazes trying to pierce each other. so close you can smell his cologne, mingling with his marlboro breath. your gaze travels to his lips, as if you could visualize the cigarette between them, exhaling smoke through his plump, heart-shaped lips. reacting quickly and cursing for what it looks like you're doing, returning to meet his gaze, only to find that he is doing the same, looking intensely at your lips. only you never smoked.

you make an effort to go back to the here and now, remembering that because of him, your characters are there and not in the auditorium. that he surely did it on purpose, just like in the past. donghyuck watches you cross your arms. "what do you care?" you ask, causing him to react by rolling his eyes in annoyance and taking a couple of steps back, putting distance between the two of you. "the world doesn't spin around you, pretty girl. i don't give a shit who you kiss." his voice sounds rather bored. "just don't kiss mark," he adds.

your laughter fills the air, a stark contrast to the boy's attitude. "you don't tell me what to do, idiot," you finally say, looking suddenly serious. "certainly, who or whom i can't kiss," you say, sentencing. a muscle jumps in the boy's jaw. "do what you want," he mutters, his face coming dangerously close to yours, a contest of who murdered the other with a stare begins. "but do it out of my damn party," he whispers, his breath tickling your cheeks.

"good!" you answer, dodging him on your way to the exit, "and just for your information, maybe you should shower, you stink like cigarettes! bet your groupies wont like it."

"bet they do."

fuck romeo. fuck juliet. and fuck lee donghyuck.

you walk across the front lawn toward the street. a voice calls you over the music. mark appears out of the night, smiling in your direction. "hey, shakespeare, where are you going? are you okay?" he asks quickly.

“yn,” you utter in a low voice, resuming your march in search of jisung. "i know," he replies, earning you a look. the question about how he knows your name pops into your mind, and you answer it almost immediately. jeno.

“um… are you leaving so early?” he asks.

“yes, i… i have things to do.” of course, it has nothing to do with the fact that donghyuck doesn't want you at his stupid party like you want to be there anyway. “good luck with your presentation,” you tell him. “ah, and…, i'm sorry I kissed you,” you add, ending that fateful encounter between the two of you. that night has turned out differently than you imagined. you want it to end.

you feel mark's hand take yours, stopping you. "i don't." he watches you hide your perplexity at that confession, raising his eyebrows expectantly. you can't help but look into his eyes for a longer time, those that seem to contain fireflies. “you will,” you assure, and you wait, fearful for him to turn around and go back to the party, for him to give up so quickly, for him to agree with you. but that does not happen.

instead, he takes a step toward you, and then another, and you hold your breath. maybe he does too. his hand goes to an unruly lock on your face, pushing it away gently. “i doubt it,” he utters, just for you to hear.

act two.

the auditorium begins to empty out as students carry the romeo and juliet sets backstage. as one by one, the pieces are removed, an uneasy feeling settles in your stomach; your last work of the cycle. the last play before you graduate. the memories are inevitable to stop, and suddenly, your vision blurs. you've been doing works since you realized that you could have your own criteria. you've been doing them since you were little, in the safe space of your room, but not interpreting them, directing them. seeing everything from the outside, always expectant. you've never wanted to play a role until that moment when you watched the stage empty.

"all set, boss," jisung shows up unannounced. “i can't believe this is the end,” he comments, without giving you time to recriminate him for the scare he has given you. “ugh… i didn't realize how much i liked working at the drama club,” he says, looking around the auditorium. you chuckle, causing the boy to look at you curiously. "even when i was yelling at you for not doing your job right?" you ask, wanting to sound disinterested but dreading the answer.

jisung simply replies, “that was the best part.” smiling. “it was a pleasure to have been your assistant,” he pronounces, his gaze softening with honesty.

“jisung,” you call as he walks away. the boy raises his eyebrows, waiting, patient, as if he knows. “you weren't… that bad,” you blurt out, trailing off each word, hoping he finds sincerity in your words. he nods, smiling, causing you to add “don't get used to it,” in the process. “uh, by the way,” he says, remembering something, “the principal wants to see us when you have time,” he reports.

you watch him walk away, deciding to pick up the art school principal on your way home. slowly, you walk toward the exit of the auditorium, pacing the room slowly, wanting to remember the scent one last time (excluding the smell of sweat and hairspray). all the auditions, all the plays, the moments when you eat quietly on stage, your gaze lost between the audience seats, with the dim reflector and your ideas traveling at a thousand kilometers per hour as the only company.

"hey!" a high-pitched voice screeches as you accidentally trip over his body. “ah, yn, i was looking for you.” renjun looks at you, his frown replaced by a smile, mysteriously looking glad to see you. “i just wanted to apologize for playing a lousy benvolio role. i'm really sorry, i should have taken your play seriously. you put so much effort into it and put your trust in me, and i'm really sorry,” he says, vomiting the words without breathing, his features contracted into a pained grimace. “you probably hate me,” he adds.

you look at him, breaking the silence with a sigh, "i don't know if i hate you more than i like you." the boy doesn't look the least bit offended. he shows you one of his best smiles, which lights up his face. “oh, i'll take that as a good thing,” he comments. "you know? even though everyone thinks you're evil, you turned out to be quite nice."

"who thinks i'm evil?" you question, catching him off guard. his eyes widen as if he had said something he shouldn't have said, suddenly avoiding your gaze. despite the fact that you had initially said it as a joke, the boy's reaction makes you take his words seriously. "was it your friend?" you continue, "donghyuck?" renjun denies it several times. “i was referring to the drama club,” he confesses, “well, apparently…everyone hates you.”

“old news, renjun,” you declare. you couldn't be friends with everyone, especially when the weight of directing a play fell on you. obviously, there was going to be discord, but as long as the play was perfect, you didn't care if the world ended up hating you. glory was born from hate. however, why did you feel a sting to think that lee donghyuck was behind all of that? he had said worse things in the past. their enmity went back years. their hatred, full of spite and resentment, could be felt if you shared the same room. the tension hanging in the air, making your blood boil and you hold your breath. just thinking about the other made your bodies stiffen, and a knot settle in your stomach.

renjun had said goodbye when you informed him that you should go to the principal's office. jisung had gone ahead and waited for you in the waiting room. when he saw you approaching, they entered the office. “good news,” was the first thing the man in the suit said. next to him, a woman took a seat in the chair where the director used to sit.

someone had seen the work and wanted you to present it at the art show in town. you listened intently to the woman talking about the details of the event. unlike jisung, who would blurt out “oh” and “wow” in every sentence the director said.

they wanted you to present romeo and juliet, again. all the creative protocol was in your charge. a play in the theater of the city, with five thousand people. with a lot of luck, the hundred seats in the auditorium of the school of arts managed to fill up, but the theater… it was another thing apart.

you both said goodbye to the woman and left in silence towards the already desolate corridor of the art school. both took a few steps, walking away from the office, before jisung cheered excitedly. "wait, you're going to say yes, right?" he stammered, looking concerned. your lost look found his, trying to contain a smile to no avail. you nodded several times. yeah. jisung returned to his victory chant.

your steps guided you towards the exit of the art school. as your eyes swept the parking lot, jisung announced that he was on his way out. "do you want a ride?" he asked, as your eyes found what they were looking for. “i'm fine,” you stated in a whisper, watching the boy lean lazily on the side of his car. brown eyes meeting brown eyes. smiles appearing shyly. the warmth of a hug impregnated with its aroma of amber and wood.

his lips left short kisses all over your face, and your hands put distance between the two of you, remembering where you were. “we're in the art school,” you muttered, causing the boy to chuckle. "i'm sorry," he apologized, her eyes flashing with a million emotions, “shall we go?”.

mark had attended the day of the play, and since then, something had blossomed. your heart beats faster when he's near, and an electric shock jolts through you when your eyes meet. however, you haven't kissed since the day of the party. waiting. it's something new for you. him. what you're feeling.

you catch mark staring at you. a nervous laugh suddenly attacks you. "what?" you ask, seeing him raise his eyebrows. “you're very happy today, that's all,” he reveals, turning his gaze to the road. “i'm happy,” you concede, reaching your hand up to her hair. "do you know the play?" you continue, hearing mark nod, "they want me to present it at the theater in town." you watch mark raise his eyebrows in astonishment. "wow, that's…impressive." his hand goes to the hand that's combing his hair, bringing it closer to his lips and leaving a kiss on it. “impressive,” he repeats again, in a whisper.

you smile, meditating. mark leaves another kiss before interlocking your hands and resting them on the panel in the middle of their seats. “this calls for a celebration,” he declares. "wait, what?" you ask between laughs. mark joins them.

the car falls into a pleasant silence. the evening breeze ruffles your hair. the sweet feeling of being this way numbs your extremities. why didn't i meet you before? you think aloud, quickly realizing your serious mistake. however, mark takes it seriously. "i don't know," he simply replies, "fate works in mysterious ways." "do you think it was fate?" you ask, curious. “surely,” he declares, drumming his fingers on your hand. you give him the reason probably was.

as soon as mark has parked the car, both run into a furious donghyuck.

"where the fuck were you?" he bellows, stopping to give you a fleeting glance. you can see how the fact that you were there answers his question, which makes him angrier. "we have to show up in a few hours, and you think of running away with your girlfriend?" he spats.

"well, at least you know what it feels like," you counter, crossing your arms. mark looks at them both, not knowing what to do or say. jeno, who had been observing everything from a distance, makes an appearance to calm the waters. "it's already here, isn't it?" he tries. donghyuck rolls his eyes at his words. “you can't expect us to waste time while you're being romantic, lee,” he complains, “you have responsibilities, abide by them,” he sentences, before walking away into the house, entering the garage.

jeno raises his eyebrows and half-smiles apologetically, before following the dark-haired man's footsteps into the house. you sigh, feeling your muscles tense, as mark stands in front of you, looking quite affected. "hey..." he starts saying. “he's an asshole,” you mutter, imagining pulling that runny tongue out of him. "sometimes." every time, you mean. "maybe, if..." you discover his intentions before he can formulate them. “never,” you settle, “mark lee, never,” you repeat, emphasizing each word.

“i'm not asking you to become friends,” he explains, “just…don't insult each other,” he requests. "at least try." you look at him, reluctant to do as he asked, easily giving in to the way he is looking at you. "fine," you hiss. and with that, you both head inside.

the garage is mainly decorated by the band's instruments. the battery is in one corner, and at the other end, two sofas (a large one and a small one) surround a box that serves as a coffee table. the walls are decorated with posters and license plates, and the lighting is rather dim. jeno is tuning his bass on one of the sofas, while karina is whispering next to him. donghyuck is on his back talking to a girl who is trying to calm him down, putting her hands on his shoulder and hair. just looking at him makes you feel tense again. mark notices, pulling you close and placing a chaste kiss on the crown of your head.

the girl who is chatting with donghyuck finally looks at you at the entrance, raising her eyebrows in surprise. donghyuck gives them a doggy look before leaving the room. “you must be yn,” she says, reaching out and holding out a hand. you don't know if you should smile or not, so you just don't. “yn, this is our vocalist, ning ning,” mark introduces the girl, “and you know chenle. he's in our course.”, he points to the guy at the keyboard.

“my pleasure,” the girl greets, “will you come to our gig?” she asks. and honestly, you don't know what to answer her. mark hasn't invited you. carrying your thoughts a few minutes ago when you told him about your work, the thought that mark hasn't even told you that he's going to play today causes the knot in your stomach to tighten. the possibility that he doesn't want to spend time with you invades your thoughts.

“i…” you start to say, before donghyuck interrupts you. “she doesn't even like rock,” he says, referring to you. consequently, four pairs of eyes watch you. you glare at the boy, remembering afterward to be nice. “that is to say…, i have not been able to appreciate the genre. but it's never too late,” you confess. the truth is, there's no real reason you hate rock. at least, not one you can remember at the time. you've never taken the time to listen to it, so to say you hate it is pretty extreme. it's easier to say that you hate it than to have to explain that you have no reason to do it other than donghyuck likes it, and therefore, you repelled it.

you feel mark leave another kiss on the crown of your head in the form of support, under the brown-haired gaze. a staring contest over who can break contact first begins. "uh... shall we start the practice?" ning ning asks, getting the boy's attention, who just gives a short nod. mark walks away towards the white guitar resting on the support, and with him, the warmth that emanates from his body. not knowing what to do, you do the most sensible thing: sit next to karina, who pats where jeno had previously been.

“should we play…?” chenle asks, being interrupted by donghyuck. "it doesn't have a name yet, no." is all he says. “lovesong,” ning ning proposs. donghyuck nods and everyone goes to their places, mark strums the strings of his guitar, and in response, donghyuck counts out with his drumsticks.

«i know i love you.

이 제로의 세계 속. in this zero world.

i know you're my one and only.

이 끝이 없던 어둠 속. in this endless darkness.

like oh my god, so holy.»

you watch in fascination as mark plays the guitar with nimble fingers. the enveloping melody of the song puts you in a state similar to ecstasy. the way in which the instruments complement each other, producing an absorbing sensation. jeno's bass with mark's guitar makes the perfect duo, and the drums give it the touch it needs. and ning ning's voice, in perfect harmony, manages to unite everything in a melody that resembles a siren's song. ning ning is like that, bewitching. you can notice how her presence attracts the rest to herself, like an anchor.

you help mark with the cables of the amplifiers while chenle, jeno, and karina are in charge of loading the things into ning ning's van, who is smoking a cigarette outside next to donghyuck. both in a pleasant conversation that is alien to your ears. you watch donghyuck laugh and joke, and restlessness seizes you; the image being quite strange, almost intimate. you look away finding mark paying attention to the same panorama you are looking at. “it's not fair that they're not helping carry things,” you complain, suddenly feeling annoyed. mark chuckles, pinching one of your cheeks, "i think that's my punishment for being late."

“oh,” you say. "you should do it, then." his face twists into a grimace, “what? but it's shared fault,” he argues.

"why's that? i'm not in the band."

“but you're dating a member of it,” he accuses. you open your mouth and nothing comes out of it, while mark looks at you deeply. your body suddenly rises in temperature, making it difficult to breathe regularly. "uh..." you stammer, not knowing what to say. the words melt on your tongue, the heat reaches your neck and cheeks. you are blushing

“pretty,” mark declares, taking in your face. his gaze softens, his eyes widen slightly. you share glances for a few seconds, before he remembers something that causes their features to change. "hey, about today's gig."

“don't worry,” you request, brushing it off. maybe mark has reasons for not inviting you to his little concert. whatever the reasons, you aren't upset about it. maybe a little discouraged. “i have things to do and…” you say, leaving the words hanging because the reality is that you have the night off, and you expect to spend it with him.

“oh, i…,” he reacts deflatingly, “well, i was going to ask you if you wanted to see me play tonight, but…” he explains, fixing his gaze on the floor, looking interested in the carpet, and anywhere in the room except you. “i don't want you to think that i'm inviting you because ning ning told you that we were going to play. i was actually going to ask you when we were packing, but i messed it up, right?" ends with a question, waiting. studying your features. “we can drop you off at your house, on the way to…”.

“i have nothing to do,” you quickly confess, catching the boy off guard. you deny several times, not believing how foolish and desperate you sound. however, there is no going back. “i mean, i remembered that…,” i have nothing to do, you want to say, “i want to see you play,” you finish.

his brown eyes caress yours, before sliding to your lips. her mind meshes thoughts, his face gives them away. your gaze travels over his tanned skin. eyes, nose, mouth. lips parted, holding a prayer. you lick your lips in an involuntary gesture, returning to his gaze, shadowed. his eyes search yours, pupils dilated, asking for permission, before leaning dangerously towards you. your lips almost brushing against each other, your mind evoking the sweet taste of liquor in his mouth on the day of the party.

“okay, guys, we're leaving now,” ning ning announces, clapping her hands several times, drawing everyone's attention. the atmosphere of the moment breaks. mark sends you a pained look, before taking the last cable and encouraging you to follow him outside. the look of donghyuck throwing knives in your direction.

the journey is quite pleasant, the opposite of what you expect. the atmosphere is loaded with jokes and laughter between them, and you as if seeing everything from the outside. laughing, but not interacting. mark has noticed that you are thinking, and has put an arm around your shoulders, drawing you to him. “oh god, i remembered something,” ning ning says, in the front seat, “mark, thank god you decided to show up. donghyuck was about to pull his hair out with his bare hands,” she reports, emphasizing with her hands. donghyuck, next to her, snorts.

"well, it was for a good cause," the black-haired man defends himself, "i was celebrating something."

karina gets interested, “wait, you're dating?” she asks, astonished, before immediately hitting jeno's shoulder. “you owe me twenty dollars,” announced. you are stunned by their interaction, listening to ning ning whistle and share a look with mark, who laughs, waving a hand. “no, not that,” the boy replies, searching your gaze for approval, “yn will present his play at the theater in town,” he finally announces.

there is a reaction shared by the band members. chenle raises his eyebrows slightly, jeno and karina let out a "wow." and ning ning whistles again. "that's great, yn!" congratulates the girl, "don't you think so?" she asks the boy next to her, who simply says “quite a lot.” glancing fleetingly in the rearview mirror. "hey! watch out for the driver,” he protests when ning ning smacks his arm, joking.

you finally arrive at the place where they will play tonight. a bar on the outskirts of seoul. inside, loud music plays in surround style. drinks come and go. mark hands you a beer, which you swallow with difficulty. “yo-dream,” they roar, clasping their hands in the middle of the circle, preparing for the introduction.

the lights dimmed as the band take the stage. the crowd erupt in cheers. ning ning's voice greets the audience, and before long, the band start playing. all attention on her, ethereal. it fits perfectly with the music. chenle joining as second vocalist.

«i know it's real, i can feel it.

난 문제 투성이 love sick. i'm full of problems.

길이 없었어. there was no way.

죽어도 좋았어. i wish i could die.

i'm a loser in this game.»

they have the audience spellbound. singing the lyrics as if they are in a spell, and ning ning is the cause. with her pale skin, with a siren voice. she even catches the eyes of the band members. captivating. chenle glances in her direction, jeno sometimes looks at her, before turning back to the audience, donghyuck, hidden behind ning ning, seems to be staring at her, even though for a moment you think he is actually looking at you.

«please use me like a drug.»

your eyes go to mark, surprising you to see them already looking at you. it feels fascinating to watch. he has donned a tank top, which shows off his chiseled arms and collarbones. his black hair falls to all sides, which he combs back from time to time, leaving his forehead free. the lighting frames his angular features. his wet lips from constantly licking them part, in concentration, while his fingers strum notes on the guitar. the muscles in his arms tensing under his smooth skin.

you find yourself imagining what it would feel like to touch them. soft under your touch, warm. steady, as it looms over you. staring at you, from above, before bringing his mouth closer to yours. his pelvis rubbing against you. donghyuck's suspicious look on stage takes you off guard, taking you out of your thoughts.

your breath quickens at your thoughts. blurring look. you pull yourself together by casting glances around you, thankful that they can't read minds and your wild guesses.

the band eventually says goodbye. you go behind karina to the backstage, looking for mark. you find him keeping his guitar in the lining, a smile blooming on your lips before donghyuck appears in your way. you are about to hit his body if you aren't faster. your eyes meet.

the malicious desire to reprimand him for watching where he was going grows at the base of your throat. however, you remember that you will try to be nice to him for mark's sake, so you clear your throat, in an attempt to prepare yourself. “it was fabulous,” you admit, making no effort to lie. the truth is, it has been wonderful, but saying that to donghyuck would cause his ego to grow.

you watch him frown, and you almost want to roll your eyes. “hey… i guess for both of us's sake we can try being nice,” you ask expectantly, watching him take his hands out of the pockets of his leather jacket. one holds a cigarette box, and the other he holds it to you. the rings on his long fingers send chills from your hand to the rest of your body.

truce.

“congratulations on your work,” he says, before breaking hand contact. “it was obvious that they were going to want to present it at the town theater. i liked it,” he adds, causing you to look at him in disbelief. “you haven't even seen it,” you object.

donghyuck is silent as if debating whether to say it or not. in the end, his lips part and he pronounces “yes, i did.”.

you take his confession seriously when you reply “i thought you hated them,” accusing him, unable to avoid it. "what makes you think that?" he asks calmly. "because you said it. you hate them the same way you hate me,” you reply, “remember?” the memory flashes across his face, finally laughing through his nose. “so you do remember,” you mutter. “something i said in fourth grade? of course,” he sneers.

"that doesn't mean you didn't say it."

“i was a boy, yn,” he pronounces. “sometimes kids talk nonsense,” he continues. “like saying they hate something when they really like it,” he finishes, fixing his gaze on you, taking your breath away. "i have never hated you."

there it is, again. that unknown sensation seizing you, confusing your senses. your mind blurs, and nothing coherent is able to form, under the penetrating gaze of the boy, absorbed in his own thoughts. his eyes, which always look like strong coffee, melt like a shot of expresso. an exhalation leaves his lips, snapping you out of your reverie.

“well…, your comment started our feud,” you expound. “mmm…” he mumbles, looking right through you. “just the result i didn't want, i'm afraid,” he says, before gesturing to the cigarette box in farewell and moving on to ning ning. you, in response, go to mark.

“hey… have you seen…?” he inquires when he sees you approach, however, he stops mid-sentence when you take him by the shoulders off guard and bring your face closer to his.

your hand goes to his neck, soaked in sweat, drawing him towards you, merging your lips with his. kissing them testing them. his hands go to your lower back, closer. his mouth opens slightly, deepening the kiss.

you hang on his neck when you feel his tongue slide into your mouth, impregnated with beer and mint. moving your face for more access, his movements turn from cautious to agitated. suddenly feeling watched; across the room, someone looking back at you. you break the kiss against your will by running out of breath. you hear mark swallow slowly, before directing his lips to your cheeks, leaving a trail of kisses. your eyes turn away from donghyuck as your hands, still on mark's neck, close in a hug, breathing in his scent. “wow,” he sighs, “i think i'm getting used to being kissed off guard,” he teases, circling your waist.

after the concert, you go back to the garage of donghyuck's house: the band's refuge. jeno and karina are in a corner, where jeno is trying to teach her how to use the bass. mark has taken a seat on the single sofa, with you on his lap, chenle is on the long sofa, stretched out and staring up at the ceiling with the beer can on his stomach, and donghyuck has taken the coffee table

“tell us more about your play, yn,” ning ning urges, sprawled between chenle's legs, before taking a swallow of her drink.

“oh, it's romeo and juliet,” you report, “the contemporary version,” you add. “great,” ning ning admits. “by the way,” jeno says, walking over to the group and forcing chenle up to give him and karina a seat. "you haven't told us if we want to be in it again, did we do so badly in romeo and juliet?" he asks, sharing a look with karina.

"no, you do great," you confess, feeling nervous. it's true that you should ask your characters if they want to continue being part of the cast for the presentation in the theater, but the truth is, an unconscious desire has stopped you from doing so. "the truth is… I want to be in it for the first time before, you know, graduate," you admit, "i'm not sure I'm going to direct a play again, and...".

"don't say that," mark demands. "you're wonderful at directing," he assures, giving you a stern look.

"you'd do well as juliet, i bet," karina says, glancing back at jeno, who nods. "i'm willing to play romeo if you wish," he agrees.

"or..." chenle's voice comes. "mark could be," he opines, shrugging his shoulders. mark's eyes widen in astonishment. "wait, are you serious?" he stammers. ning Ning shrugs. "just saying." his brown eyes search yours for answers. "if Shakespeare accepts me, my answer will always be yes," he concedes, a peculiar twinkle in his eye.

you don't know why you feel horrible.

act three.

"benvolio? are you playing?" jisung's eyes widen in a battle of emotions. disbelief. emotion. intrigue. ecstasy.

you nod several times. "mmm..." you state. "you're the ideal candidate. you know the lines, and you almost defeated renjun at the auditions," you explain. "i still don't know why i didn't get the role..." he comments, meditating. you touch his shoulder gently. "that's because you were ideal to be my assistant. call me selfish," you confess.

the fact is that the work is next week. the fact that jisung is playing benvolio has nothing to do with the fact that time is not in your favor. the boy knows the lines and has been renjun's substitute in the last play. honestly, he is the perfect benvolio. also, you have to focus all your attention on teaching mark his lines. it's quite a difficult process because you both spend more time making out than practicing the scenes. it's hard to avoid it. look at his lips as he recites the words of romeo. his hands, with long fingers, touching his chest covered by a linen shirt. it's hard to contain the urge to kiss him right then and there. more difficult to contain the thread of your thoughts about that transparent garment.

"wow, being an actor is really hard," he decides on the way home, letting out a whistle that he accompanies by shaking his head. "i see why you're always in a bad mood," he confesses. the car is silent for a few seconds as you give him a reproachful look before his laughter fills the air. "i was kidding," he admits. "lousy, by the way," you comment before stroking his hair, smiling. it's your favorite thing. running your fingers through it. combing it. especially for what usually comes with it: mark's little moans into your mouth when you kiss.

after the first kiss, you're doubtful about the next step. you find yourself sinking into the depths of your thoughts while looking at him. the desire warming your chest, feeling your heavy tongue when someone decides to talk to you in those moments. and you know mark thinks about it too, yet every time a kiss escalates in intensity, mark stops.

you both want it to be special.

"you haven't played anymore?" you ask when he falls silent. "yes, small places," he explains by tapping on the flyer, "but i thought you didn't want to go since we've been busy with the play, and performances are late at night. i thought you deserved to sleep." you observe his profile, and you lean in to leave a kiss on his jaw. "i always want to go," you whisper in his ear. you hear him chuckle slightly. "really?" "mmm..." you mumble. your lips leave kisses on his ear, down his jaw and neck. you hear him swallow hard, his breathing becoming ragged.

after seeing them play that night, you find yourself wanting to see it again. it's the first time you've experienced something like that, the emotion, the ecstasy of the moment. especially what comes after each presentation. the intimate moment in donghyuck's garage, where they chat about anecdotes and joke with each other while low music sets the scene. friends. that's how it feels.

now that you and donghyuck have declared a truce, everything is more enjoyable. your body no longer tenses, the knot in your stomach is almost imperceptible. the atmosphere is no longer tense between you. finally, both are beginning to realize that it isn't so horrible to be in each other's company. watching him laugh so easily while joking with chenle. maybe it isn't as terrible as you imagined.

"shit," mark growls seconds before the car stops moving. he manages to park it on the side of the highway, both stunned, gaping at the car slowly lifeless. mark tries to start the engine, to no avail, cursing under his breath. "wait here," he speaks before opening the door. "do you want me to call a mechanic?" you propose, sticking your head out the window, and watching him head for the hood. "no need," he mutters, glancing over. "although…," you watch his face light up as he comes up with a solution. "could you call donghyuck?" "i don't have his number," you reply, watching him approach the passenger door and holding out his phone to you in response.

you take the cell phone in your hands, not believing what you're about to do. the phone rings three times before the boy's voice floods the line. "you're late. again," is the first thing he says, in a monotone. "uh…, it's yn," you clarify. you take your silence as a hint to keep talking. "hey, mark's car broke down on the highway on the way to your house," you report. "mark said to call you," you finish.

"tell mark i'm on my way," he replies. you thank in a low voice, ready to hang up when his voice stops you from doing so. "why didn't you call from your phone?" he asks, a tone that reveals curiosity in his voice. "i don't have your number," you reveal, feeling embarrassed. you hear his laughter fill the earpiece. mark becomes interested when he hears you laugh. "did he answer you?" he asks, leaning over the driver's door. "he said he'll be here in ten minutes," you reply. "we're really sorry," mark apologizes to the other members.

mark returns to the space inside the car, leaning back in the seat, and blocking glances. your hand reach for his cheek. the passing headlights of cars on the freeway illuminating his profile. “well, this is humiliating,” he mutters, referring to the accident. you deny, smiling, however, you could tell that he was hesitating. you lean in and place a small kiss on his lips, in an attempt to reassure him, lifting your body from the seat when it increases in intensity. mark welcomed you into his lap as you climbed in, tilting the seat back for more comfort. his hands going to your hips, while yours traced circles on the soft skin of his neck. feeling him under you.

leans towards you, leaving several kisses on your lips. you laughed without avoiding it. “mark,” you point out. “mmm…it's addictive,” he apologizes. “your lips always taste like strawberries,” he confesses, and you feel yourself swoon as you lean in to kiss him.

a sigh leaves his lips as you slowly moved your hips against him. your pulse soaring in your ears when you could feel it. getting hard against your crotch. you move over him again, back and forth, your lips parted with the sensation. the bulge in his crotch pushing against you. your face contracting as a wave of pleasure hit your body. "mark..." you moan.

two sharp blows sent them both into a spasm. as promised, donghyuck looks at you through the car's tinted glass. you rush down from mark's lap, as the boy lowers the window. “hey,” he greets. donghyuck looks down at both, arching his brow. he knows.

he clears his throat, glancing at the highway, disinterested, before opening the driver's door, prompting mark to get out of the car. the black-haired man gives you a short look before getting off.

you cover your face once you make sure both guys aren't paying attention to you. embarrassed, ashamed. fearing that he has heard you. fearing that he has seen them through the glass.

they return to the car minutes later. finally come to life. by the time they start back toward donghyuck's house, the sun has gone down.

"we're really sorry," mark apologizes to the other members. the breakdown has taken up the time they were going to allocate to practice. although the apology is directed towards everyone, donghyuck responds.

"it doesn't matter," he replies.

they end up playing jealousy, jealousy and shinunoga e-wa. the way home is quite silent. no one is joking, and no one is chatting. you even come to believe that they are avoiding you. mark doesn't even notice when you tell him about it when you get to the garage. "maybe we're all exhausted, we've been playing various places the last few days," he tries, but you don't buy it. "i'll go talk to him," you inform him before heading out to find him.

the marlboro trail leads you to it. and ning ning. you fear you are interrupting the hectic conversation they are both having, ready to talk to him at another time. after all, neither of them has noticed you. however, one word catches your eye.

"what will you do when she sees us, huh?" hisses ning ning. "you can't help it forever, hyuck," he adds, taking a short silence that he uses to take an inspired drag on the cigarette in his bony fingers.

you hear donghyuck complain. "she's going to kill me," he assures. "she'll still kill you if you don't tell her."

that conversation is not making sense to you. you are hesitating between interrupting them or leaving, noting that the conversation is heading towards private territory. you don't feel good eavesdropping, especially if that conversation turns out to be a confession between them. but a million unknowns float in your mind. who are they talking about?

"we just reconciled a few days ago. you can't expect me to tell her and have her hate me again. i don't want to ruin it," his confession catches you off guard. the tone of his voice reveals the effort it takes to say it out loud. reconcile with whom?

"she's going to find out sooner or later," ning ning states.

you don't have to connect the dots to conclude that they are talking about you. however, you can't find out about what.

"what do i have to find out?" you ask, finally stepping out of the darkness. donghyuck seems to have seen a ghost, and ning ning simply disappears into the house. "what don't you want to tell me?" you reformulate.

he recovers almost immediately, getting up from the wall where he was leaning and approaching you, menacingly. "who do you think you are, sneaking into conversations that don't concern you?" he accuses, towering over you. "don't try to change the subject." you threaten, discovering his intentions. "what is it that i can't find out?" you ask again.

donghyuck ignores your questions and enters the house, with you on his heels and recriminating him. it's true; you aren't going to give up that easily. with every step donghyuck takes, the chances of finding out what he and ning ning are talking about go with him. you can't let it happen.

donghyuck stops abruptly when you stand between him and his path of escape. your hand instinctively closes on his jacket, preventing him from moving. you look at him sternly, causing him to shoot daggers at you with his eyes. the discussion catches the attention of the others, peeking into the hallway where you and donghyuck are having a staring contest.

"listen to me," he says. "it's a huge opportunity," he begins, and as he explains, your brow furrows more and more in confusion. "i couldn't say no, okay?" he urges, looking at you with pleading eyes.

the realization hits you in the stomach as you realize where the conversation is heading. you feel his hand put on yours, but you break the contact as if it burns. “you… idiot,” you declare, feeling your voice burn in your throat.

you push past him on your way out of the house, hearing him call behind you. you turn a deaf ear to their calls, your mind plunging into the purest anger you've ever felt in your life. how could you have let your guard down? how could you think that you and donghyuck could be friends?

"yn, please."

"leave me alone!" you roar. “i… i'm a fool,” you continue, watching him deny. "yes, I am." you agree. "i should congratulate you; you've won, okay?" you admit.

"what's going on?" mark's voice comes from behind them, causing them to turn their attention to him. “let's give him the good news,” you propose. “dream society will be performing at the town theater,” you inform, feeling donghyuck tense. “his leader wanted to give you the news, but he thought it would be better to wait until I left so i wouldn't find out until the day of the presentation,” you conspire. "probably because he wanted to see my stupid face when i saw you."

mark looks at you, and the absence of surprise weighs heavily in your stomach. "you knew?".

"yn..." he tries to call you, tries to pull you out of the hole you've fallen into, the one you've been pushed into, by his hands, by donghyuck's, by everyone's. he looks at you and you feel like dying, but it's his voice from behind that make the execution.

"yn..." you interrupt him, accusing him with your finger. "you always have to take everything away from me, huh?" you spit “whatever you wanted to prove, well done, you proved it,” you add before walking away, not looking back.

act four.

“you're leaving in ten minutes,” the av assistant reports, peering into the dressing room.

the truth is that you are more than ready. you have fixed yourself in record time, just to be able to review and coordinate with others. the scenery is on stage, the seats are filling up. extras are in their costumes. everything is going smoothly, except for one thing.

it has been a week since you last went to a dream society presentation. mark seems to understand why. just seeing donghyuck's face makes you want to vomit bile. the best thing you can do is break all contact with him, in hopes of extinguishing that knot that oppresses your chest.

jisung comes out from behind the screen to show you his outfit. you tilt your head, watching the boy before reaching over and combing his hair. “better,” you declare.

you look at your phone for the fifteenth time tonight. no notifications. no messages from mark. romeo is not there.

"seven minutes!"

“shit,” you mumble, drawing the attention of the people in the dressing room. the last thing you want is for them to get stressed knowing that a major part of the work is missing, so you smile.

he is not answering the phone either, and boy did you do it more times than you wanted to admit. he has simply disappeared. a part of you begins to fret, plotting the most terrible thing you can think of. mark would have to be on his way to the theater if he is going to perform with the band afterward. it is unlikely that he would not come when he should. if it is not for the work, for the presentation of his band. a thought surges, like poison. what if donghyuck is behind all this? what if mark being romeo was donghyuck's plan to humiliate you in front of the whole town? you are on the verge of collapse.

"five minutes!".

"shut up!" you receive shocked looks from everyone in the dressing room.

without saying a word, you leave the room. you do not notice jisung following you. "something happens?" he asks. finally, you break down, “romeo…mark doesn't show up,” you correct. your gaze clouds; a moan tears from your throat even when you try to stifle it. jisung pulls you closer to him in a hug. "not a biggy." he reassures. you hear him hum, thinking. "jeno?" he suggests.

“it will take more than five minutes to get here,” you comment. besides, if donghyuck and mark are behind all of this, jeno is surely behind it too. “renjun,” he utters. you walk away, compiling yourself. it is not like you to whine. you must be looking for solutions. “he only knows benvolio lines,” you recall.

“huh,” you hear jisung utter. although when you look for his gaze, it is at a point behind you. your eyes go to the place where he is looking, holding your breath.

“mark's car broke down.” donghyuck approaches carefully, as if a sudden movement could break you.

“three minutes!”.

“we need mark,” you say in his direction. “he's not going to make it, yn,” he says, studying your features. “shit, shit.” jisung raises his hands to his head.

"is he coming?" you ask, fearing the answer, "or is he the final piece of your plan?" he tries to maintain a neutral expression, but you know him, you know when your words hit home, and this is one of them. however, you don't find victory in it, much less comfort. "i don't think mark would do anything to hurt you," he says sincerely. "and you?" you say without thinking.

"two minutes!"

“wait,” jisung says, drawing your attention. "you…" he hesitates to look at you when his eyes land on donghyuck. “you've seen the play a couple of times. in rehearsals, right?" both gazes fall on donghyuck, waiting for the dark-haired man's response.

donghyuck just nods slowly.

do you know the lines of romeo?" you ask, trying to hide your astonishment. "yes, i've read something."

"they're out in a minute!"

"jisung, take him to the dressing room. we have to improvise a bit," you announce. jisung steps forward, showing him the way to the dressing rooms, but you stop donghyuck before he gets away. "if this is another one of your jokes, you bet i'll go for your head," you hiss, watching him nod, looking at the bottom of your face to avoid looking at you.

«these violent delights,

have violent ends.»

the play starts, and the whole time, you are holding your breath. you force yourself to take slow breaths and stay calm. even if it goes wrong, it's not the end of the world. in any case, it would be the end of your career. nothing to worry about. you come out in your scenes and deliver every single line you know by heart. it's nothing new to say them; you always knew them. it's the experience, for the first time in front of the public. your body feels light, the moment feels unreal.

your body tenses when jisung and donghyuck come on stage almost halfway through the play. they exchange a dialogue.

"are you in love?" jisung asks, looking at donghyuck. you bite your lips, thinking of a prayer. "out," he replies. "of love?" jisung inquires benevolently. donghyuck's gaze goes to the boy. his features show nothing more than the ghost of a lament. "the one that i love doesn't love me back," he utters, his words emitting sadness to the public, his look causing a pang in your heart.

the scene changes to another. one by one, the work is coming to an end. you can glimpse the band members in the audience. jeno and chenle give you thumbs up, and you have to try not to laugh right then and there.

until the scene you had practiced with mark comes. many times. in rehearsals. backstage. in your car.

donghyuck delivers each of his lines to perfection. it's a little contradictory that he would have remembered them all just by reading the work once. although you don't underestimate it. donghyuck is pretty smart, you know that, and he knows many topics. you've seen him chat with the members when they're relaxing after a performance. so when you witness the emotions he inspires in each of his words, you can't help but believe that he really means them.

then he leans towards you, and impulsively you do too. he has removed the rings from his fingers when he places his hand on your cheek, his face moving closer to yours. your eyes close, feeling his breath mix with yours. your lips finally meet, and he explodes in your chest.

donghyuck kisses you slowly, and you feel your body melt into the other's mouth, savoring the kiss. his body hovers over you, causing a shadow, hiding the desire of the public. feeling his silky lips against yours, you find yourself wanting more. but the kiss doesn't last more than five seconds, and the moment comes to an end when donghyuck's body moves away from you, and you fall into the realization of your thoughts as you kiss him.

and like some sort of magnetic feeling, your eyes travel to a dark corner of the theater. a single figure stands there, as if heading backstage without being seen by the audience, but stops at the last second to witness this exact moment.

you both leave the stage, avoiding each other.

"well done," jaemin congratulates, in the role of mercutio. "it's not over yet," you both answer at the same time. jaemin stares at you, hiding his amusement. "break a leg," he wishes, watching you go off in opposite directions.

shit, what just happened?

the work finishes wonderfully. mark appears backstage, apologizing until he's breathless. he explains that on the way to the theater, his car breaks down, and he has to call a tow truck. his phone dies after calling and notifying donghyuck, with no way to contact you. you can tell that he really feels it. you reassure him that you aren't upset and that it isn't his fault. the last thing you want is for him not to do his best in his presentation by thinking about that kind of nonsense.

the band goes up shortly after the play. those from the drama club watch the performance from the wings, deciding that the views are the best. as always, ning ning introduces the band. her harmonious voice is heard through the speakers of the town theater. "this song is called 'strawberries & cigarettes,'" she announces.

act five.

your body feels like it's floating with mark next to you. the van is full of glee and ready to burst. jisung, jaemin, and renjun have joined in the celebration, causing them to be crammed into the seats. finally, the wars and disputes have ended.

the entire school of arts attends the celebration to bid farewell to the last semester.

the dreams have gathered in the patio of the place, toasting with beer and laughing. "i dreamt a dream tonight," you're surprised to hear donghyuck recite romeo and juliet. jaemin replies, "and so did i," before taking a drink of his beer. "well, what was yours?" you ask. "that dreamers often lie," he utters.

that little scene makes you remember something that had surfaced in your mind after the presentation of his song. your attention goes to the boy next to you. mark has been silent since they left the theater, his face reflecting nothing more than sheer absence. lost in thought, you leave a little kiss on his cheek; you don't want him to continue to torture himself thinking that he failed you in the play, so you come up with something. "by the way," you hear a small "mmm…" before muttering, just to him, "strawberries and cigarettes?" you ask, funny. your attempt to get his attention pays off. "mm…" he agrees, absorbed. "donghyuck named it," he declares, looking at you as if he wanted to find something before looking away, perhaps finding what he was looking for.

you stay hanging, in automatic mode, with a lost look. looking for donghyuck by inertia. their eyes meet, transmitting endless emotions without labels.

the night takes its course, but you get stuck at that moment. watching everyone have fun, toasting, dancing. mark has broken away from your side at one point, and at another, someone handed you a beer that you declined as best you could. the party fades until the members scatter again in the place where you stayed all night.

by the end of the night, everyone is all drunk, except you.

you help jaemin pick up the empty cans and put them in a garbage bag. jeno has taken renjun inside the house when the boy fell asleep on the grass. chenle is throwing up in a bush, and jisung doesn't let go of ning ning for a second, who is smoking calmly next to him.

"have you seen mark?" you ask him. she just shrugs. "i think i saw him leave in his car," she comments.

when the temperature begins to drop, they all go inside the house. "okay, let's divvy up the rooms," jaemin proposes. in the end, chenle and jisung take the giant sofa in the living room, and jaemin settles for a sheet and a cushion on the floor. donghyuck appears just at that moment. "you can take my bed," he offers in the direction of you, ning ning, and karina; jeno says that she will sleep in the van, and by default, donghyuck takes the sofa from the garage.

once everything is decided, everyone goes to bed.

to your and ning ning's surprise, karina has been asleep since before the party ended. in a deep sleep, it's hard to wake her up. you and ning ning lie down on either side of her motionless body.

no matter how hard you try to fall asleep, it's impossible. you can barely get into the bed, not a very comfortable position, and ning ning and karina have taken over the sheets. you stare at the ceiling in silence, debating whether you should just try to sleep or stay awake, considering that it's almost dawn.

however, you end up ruling out both options. your feet take you to the corridor as if they have a life of their own, although deep inside you know that they are paying attention to your deepest desires. trying not to wake anyone, you stop in the middle of the room, realizing how pathetic and desperate your decisions make you look.

"are you going to stay there and watch me sleep?" donghyuck mutters. you see his silhouette sit up on the sofa. it's too late to regret it. "don't you have another sheet?" you ask, watching him sit on the couch. the light hardly enters to see his features, but you can feel his gaze crushing you. "i'm afraid not; i've given them to the dreamies," he explains.

"oh, okay. i'm sorry; i'll let you sleep then," you say, making the move to leave.

"stay." you hear him say clearing his throat before continuing. "uh…we can share mine."

“i don't think it's a good idea,” you think aloud. “you're drunk,” you point out, quickly clarifying, “i didn't mean you're going to do something; i'm just saying it because you'll regret this in the morning.” when you can see him stir.

“i don't think i'm going to regret making sure you're okay,” he says.

there was. the dilemma. to leave. or to stay. donghyuck or…

“okay,” you whisper.

you close the distance between them, watching donghyuck make room for you on the sofa. he passes the sheet over your bodies before laying his head next to you. your bodies so close. legs trying not to get tangled. your hands brushing his chest. “you're shaking,” he comments. you don't know if it's just because of the cold. "i'm sorry," you apologize.

you feel his hand looking for yours under the sheet, taking them to his lips, expelling his warm breath. you are disconcerted when you don't smell a trace of liquor, coming to think that perhaps accusing him of being drunk had been your pathetic excuse. "better?" he asks. you nod slightly. the dim lighting barely reveals his smile. his eyes close sleepily, and you fear that this is the last chance to say it; he would slip out of your reach.

“donghyuck,” you call. his eyes widen again, warming your insides. "i…" god, why did it cost you so much? “it's okay,” he says. “i want to say it,” you murmur. you see him pay attention. “i'm sorry to tell you all those…things. i'm a stupid. it was a giant opportunity, and i just ruined that special moment with my attitude and… i'm so sorry.” your gaze clouds over with contained tears. “it's okay to hate me for the rest of your life,” you sob.

your words are followed by silence, coupled with donghyuck's rhythmic breathing. you feel his lips rest on your forehead. “i thought you would know by now,” he murmurs. you look up to meet his gaze. dark, as if the stars of the night sky had been swallowed. “i could never hate you,” he confesses. his eyes close by inertia under your gaze. “after all, all my love songs are for you,” he reveals, so low, for your ears only. he keeps his eyes closed, as if afraid of finding rejection if he saw you.

your hands go to his cheeks, prompting him to look at you. you study his features, scanning his face in the dark, although you don't need to see to know where his moles paint his face. "careful," he warns when your gaze lingers on his lips for a longer time.

your mouth imagines what they taste like this time if you try them. marlboro. beer. sweet.

a gasp escapes your lips unconsciously, catching donghyuck off guard. your tongue holds a plea, which doesn't need to leave your mouth when what you ask for is fulfilled.

donghyuck's lips devour your mouth fervently with hungry kisses, wanting to appease a long-held desire, wanting to stop a flood of suppressed emotions.

your hands run through his chest, shoulders, and neck, eventually getting into his dark hair, hearing a moan die in your half-open mouth. his body hovers over yours, your legs wrap around his waist, a flame burning in your chest, numbing your common sense, letting yourself be carried away by desire. him, all your senses scream. him. him. him.

his movements become erratic, clumsy, desperate, trying to melt into each other, trying to kiss everywhere, touch everywhere. his hips thrust into your hips in an unexpected movement, feeling his erection against your belly.

your gazes meet between gasps.

"i don't..." you start saying, seeing him open his eyes with blows. “shit, forgive me,” he hastens to say. the very thought made your hands shoot up his arms, stopping him. “no, no,” you utter, making what you meant to say clear. “i…want…i want you to,” you confess, relieved that he hadn't brought up the intrinsic drawback you were both aware of.

“i just…” you continue, “it's the first time i…, you know, i've done it,” you finally say, waiting for his reaction. all you got was donghyuck's deep look. "it's also the first time for me," he answers.

the confession caught you off guard, sitting up on your elbows, almost impacting your foreheads. he had caught you off guard. you never would have imagined. that the boy that he belonged to a gang and misbehavior would not have had his first sexual experience. "shit," you exclaim, "are you sure...?" you asked, being interrupted mid-sentence by him. “yes,” he states, without a stutter. “i want it to be you,” he confesses.

your heart was about to explode. “i want it to be you too,” you agree, before donghyuck kisses you.

between kisses, he deposited you back on the comfortable surface of the sofa. your hands caressed his back when his lips moves to your neck and clavicle. hair tickling your cheeks. smile tasting like honey. his moans just for you to hear. his caresses bristling your skin as his fingers leave their prints on your hips, legs, and arms. inserting them under your shirt, cupping your breasts, brushing your nipples.

your back arch. further. further. further. lifting his shirt, stopping in mid-kiss to pull it over his head. admiring for a few seconds his bare chest. tracing an imaginary path to his belly button with your finger, listening to him breathe heavily. your mouths met again as if all this time they had needed each other. hands down your waist, fingers brushing your belly. "may i?" a question. a yes as an answer.

you feel his fingers get lost under your pants, letting out a gasp when he found his way to your intimate area. putting pressure on it, before drawing small circles. the pleasant sensation of their movements causing your eyes to fix on the ceiling, blinking when you feel your mind cloudy.

donghyuck stimulates your clit with a leisurely rhythm, leaving wet kisses on your neck and shoulders, deciding that your shirt was unnecessary, and ending up on the floor next to his. thumb deciding to leave short little touches as his fingers trailed down into your folds, awakening all your nerve endings.

while everyone slept, your silent gasps and the sound of your wetness crackled in the air.

your legs go numb while a pleasant wave invades you. "that's ok?" he asks shyly. fearing that your voice would betray you, you nod effusively. your hands instinctively going to the place where he was touching you. you got up enough to see his hand move nimbly, hidden by your pants. donghyuck watched you raise your hips and with agitated movements, started to take off your pants. his hand stops its movements, and you almost feel faint.

with one less garment, you go for his pants. donghyuck leans back on the sofa, watching you sit up and remove the piece of cloth, his hips moving up to help you. dark underwear coming out in sight, hiding a bulge underneath. "can i?" you ask the same question, looking at his eyes, the brown completely consumed by his pupils. "always."

a stain darker than the rest of the cloth reveals wetness. your hands went to his crotch, above the cloth. the moisture confirmed your suspicions: precum. you position yourself on the ground, between his legs, watching donghyuck throw his head back, you lick your lips before pulling out his member. beads of semen adorned the tip and without warning. looking prominent and big, you wonder how it'll fit in you. feeling soft yet hard, delicate and pink at the tip, with a visible vein that disappears under the base. you lean in. your warm breath hitting his penis makes him let out a small gasp. your tongue lick the drops of precum, putting the flushed head in your mouth, warm and rigid, causing him to let out a moan. the citrus flavor took you by surprise, gently sucking on the tip, hoping not to waste a drop.

“you're going to kill me,” you hear him say, before taking his full length into your mouth. your cheeks puffed out and your brow furrowed as the tip grazed your throat, pulling it out immediately and meeting the boy's gaze. like this? they ask his contorted features gave you the answer.

a line of kisses from the tip to the base, and back up, putting it in your mouth, pulling it out, and repeating the process while bobbing your head. his small moans letting you know you were doing a good job. his hands on your neck and hair, pulling him out of the picture. your hands going to the base of his member, touching his testicles and watching him tense up. finding yourself loving his whiny voice, his guttural sounds, the feel on your tongue, the trace of his flavor, wanting to taste more.

his hands take you away without warning from him. breaking contact. you watch him breathe heavily, and then watch him struggle to form a sentence. “you,” he says, on an exhalation. "i want you."

your chest explode in a supernova-like explosion. a hot sensation hit your stomach.

"do you have… ?" you see him rummage through his pants pockets. "yes."

his hands search for yours in the dim room, helping you up from the floor. finding your way into his lap. your legs are positioned on each side of his waist, putting all your weight on his thighs, in front of his erect dick hitting his stomach. your chin is lifted up by his hand when you get lost contemplate his masculinity, salivating in desire of having it again in your mouth, taste again his seed. the other hand leaving your hips to open the condom. “why did you have a condom in your pants?” you asked with genuine curiosity. his brown eyes looked at you. “i'm prepared,” he jokes, "i didn't know exactly the time you'd want it so i always carried it."

"shut up," you chuckle.

his mouth trail kisses from your chest to your stomach, lifting you slightly until you feel him at your entrance. hand looking for yours. intertwining. sharing glances as you slowly lower on him.

submerged in the coffee of his eyes, you feel him sink into you. a sharp pain expanding inside you, adjusting to the unknown. donghyuck stays still, watching you scrunch your face into a grimace showing him discomfort. he doesn't move until you push your hips into his. you need to feel it. you wanted it so much.

donghyuck expands your walls, the pain becoming imperceptible, pleasurable. a gasp escapes your lips. “hyuck,” you gasp.

his face is hidden in your chest. “feels…,” he whispers, “very good,” he finishes, before hugging you and pulling you close. the sudden movement causing both to moan for the friction of your bodies intertwined, moving with him.

your hands seek support on his shoulders, arching your hip, feeling it. propelling you up and down again, a slight burn in your groin. your mind going wild knowing that the reason was him. his half-open mouth letting out small pants, which you voluntarily let die in your mouth when you kiss him. clumsily you both laugh.

your face hiding in his neck when your legs trembled. pausing only a little because of the spasms that attacked your lower body, before continuing. increasingly erratic. each time faster. desperate.

"shit." the sound of your sticky arousal driving donghyuck insane, accompanying his hectic breaths. his desperate hands running through your entire body, while a knot grows in your crotch and expands through your belly, numbing your senses.

donghyuck collapses, as the orgasm drains him. holding you close, marking his footprints on your skin. a sharp pang tearing your breath away, before the knot finally came undone, whipping your nerve endings into sweet ecstasy.

slowing down your ride, until it was just small unconscious stimulating movements, still present from the previous episode. rocking your body while feeling him twitching against your walls, coated with your velvety arousal, sensing it slipping out every time you go down on it, shaky “i have to pull it out…,” you hear him say, “before… it stops being erect” he murmurs, receiving a short nod from you.

his hands goes to the base of his member, extracting it from your warmth. your lips leave short kisses on his temple, watching him handle the wrapping with skillful hands, before leading them both towards the comfortable surface of the sofa. his arms encircled your waist. "someone can see us like this" you whisper, remembering the pair of young adults in the next room.

donghyuck leans over and picked up his shirt from the floor, holding it out. “it's really hot all of a sudden,” he says, making excuses for why he was still naked. you put on his shirt between laughs, accepting donghyuck's invitation to lie on his chest. you hear his heart beat slowly.

"so..." you spoke again after a few seconds. “so, strawberries & cigarettes…,” you mention. you felt donghyuck's laughter rumble in his chest. "for you".

"what about lovesong?"

"same."

you meditated for a few seconds. “jealousy, jealousy?” ask now. “you'll have to ask ning ning,” he says, implying that the girl had written the song.

you couldn't contain the smile that form on your lips. again that feeling that warm your chest. love, now you understand.

“hyuck…,” you call, “don't fall asleep.” you could see the smile on his face. discovering your intentions. “we just did it and you want to do it again?” he mock. "you read my mind," he murmurs, before looming over you.

act six.

a tangle of limbs, that's what you notice first, and the absence of noise.

you sit up on the sofa, rubbing your eyes. memories of the night before overwhelm your senses. donghyuck is fast asleep, so you maneuver with difficulty not to wake him up, taking your clothes and deciding to go out and investigate why everything seems so quiet.

the first thing you see is chenle and renjun in the kitchen, preparing a bowl of cereal. joining them, jisung and jaemin eat quietly at the kitchen island. “good morning, boss,” jisung greets. three pairs of eyes shoot your way. “uh, jisung, you can call me yn.” the boy just nods.

"cereals?" chenle asks, in your direction. when you nod, he adds, “can you call ning ning? she's outside, smoking," before returning his attention to what he's doing.

your steps take you to the backyard of the house. ning ning is lost in thought as she puffs on her cigarette, or so you think you notice when you reach her side, exhaling the smoke. “mark was here,” she says, “a few minutes ago.” shit.

her gaze meets yours, her features hardening. "you won't deserve him in a million years," she declares.

you return her gaze, serene. “it's not my fault he doesn't like you,” you finally acknowledge. all this time, you'd thought she had feelings for donghyuck when her heart had always belonged to the boy with the firefly eyes.

you turn your back on her, walking away, going back into the house. "it's already served…" you interrupt chenle mid-sentence. “mark, did he come by car?” you ask, urgently.

“on foot,” chenle replies, “he lives a few blocks from here.” you hurry out, past the garage and the boy who sleeps in it. your mind races with a thousand thoughts per second, and your feet move on their own.

shouldn't be far. you pray that he isn't far away.

"mark!" your breath catches from the effort of running.

he finally turns around, recognition bathing his features.

you shorten the distance that separates you until there's only a prudent space between the two of you.

"forgive me," you beg. "i did not want…".

“i wanted to ignore it,” he confesses, getting tired of waiting for you to finish that sentence. “i wanted to believe that one day you would look at me the way you look at him,” he says under your gaze. you shake your head. "that night when you apologized for kissing me." his eyes narrow, visualizing the memory. “i told you i wasn't sorry,” he quotes. “looking back, i would have avoided all this,” he admits, “maybe if i had run i would have prevented donghyuck from stealing the love that was for me,” he declares.

“if only i had gotten to the play on time. i would have avoided everything."

“i didn't mean to break your heart,” you open up. a laugh leaves his lips. “everything started with him,” remembering the kiss you used to distract donghyuck at the party. "it's only fair that i'm the one who ends it."

mark. the star boy or donghyuck, the black hole.

a sigh leaves your lips as you open your mouth to respond.

finale.

the house is quiet as the members have recently left. you look around the garage, not avoiding feeling nostalgic.

donghyuck is not on the couch, neither are his clothes. a noise coming from the floor above gives away their location: his room.

the boy glances at you over his shoulder. "you're still wearing my shirt, you know that?" you look at the garment. "yeah."

"mark?" he asks, referencing your whereabouts a few minutes ago. he watches you nod slowly, still backward. "aren't you going to look at me?" you want to know, finally making him face you.

you stare at each other for what seems like an eternity, feeling the weight of your actions and their consequences.

donghyuck clears his throat. "i suppose you're here to tell me that you've chosen him, so i'll tell you one thing: don't worry." his words catch you off guard. "it's only fair that it's him. i… was a complete idiot," he opens up. "i wasn't even able to express what i felt for you."

"hyuck." your eyes meet. "then do it now."

a silence settles between them before donghyuck breaks it.

"i'm in love with you." five words. they are enough to bring down all your walls. "i will always be in love with you." his brows furrow in sorrow. "it doesn't matter if you don't love me back."

your feet move by inertia, like a magnet attracting you. donghyuck watches you in silence, his eyes closed when you touch his cheek. finally, he lets out the air he had been holding. “i love you back,” you declare before he kisses you.

his muscles relax under your touch, his tongue savoring your lips before meeting yours. the kiss escalates in intensity, your movements becoming more frantic, and when your feet fall back, donghyuck follows you.

your bodies impact with the soft surface of the bed, taking off each other's clothes with agile movements.

“keep it on,” he requests as your hands went to remove his shirt.

your bodies came together again in a collective gasp. donghyuck closed his eyes, contracting his face, overwhelmed by the pleasant sensation that also ran through your nerves. sinking into you, your mouth opened in a ghostly moan, feeling your head spin.

his hips moved rhythmically, sliding in and out. "look at me." his eyes did as you told. believing that you could drown in the chocolate of his eyes, and in the black hole of his pupils, expanding. his muscles tensing with each thrust. moans coming from his lips, swollen and wet. your body submerging in a sweet ecstasy. eyes filling with tears.

"hyuck...,"you moan, however, nothing coherent could come out of your lips. donghyuck slows down his movements, using one of his hands to comb your hair. “without…” you start, “without condom.” you were able to ensure that his cock twitched inside you. “i'll take the pill,” you mutter with effort.

a sob leave your lips when you felt him take out his member. your gaze travel to the point where your bodies connected, watching as he removed the condom and threw it. beads of precum glistening at the tip. your hands inadvertently go towards his length. you heard donghyuck catch his breath as your hand goes up and down, milking his dick.

"it feels good. you feel good.” donghyuck sank into the crook of your neck, in a tangle of kisses and gasps. your body bristling for him. an exhalation leaves his lips when he reintroduces his member, as the sensation becomes more intense, pounding hard. whimpering as his climax feels closer, feeling you raw, skin to skin. hips colliding, everything ending and beginning there where your bodies get together with each thrust, filling you. intertwining your legs on his lower back, forcing him to go further. deeper. feeling your walls tighten around his girth as he brings both of you to their breaking point, becoming more sloppy.

"i'm so close." a sharp pinprick expand in your core, a current invading your senses. your mind clouding listening to donghyuck's grunts and gasps in your ear.

an electrical wave numbs your senses, feeling your muscles go into spasms, small and short at first, shifting under his weight, arching your back and meeting his body when he pushes into you once more, your hands squeezing his shoulders, traveling to his arms, fingers burying on his smooth skin. hearing him let out a groan, which finally released the tension in your body, both of you letting out "i love you." in one last gasp.

the body of donghyuck collapses on top of you, tensing as waves of pleasure washes over him. slowing down his strokes, going deeper and lighter, milking his seed inside you, hot. the pleasurable sensation of it making you smile softly, sleepily. tired. full.

donghyuck greets you when you snuggled up next to him. silent. the confession still hanging in the air. “i like this character evolution,” he says in a whisper, “no more idiot. or my favorite, dipshit. hyuck” he repeats, "i like how it sounds in your mouth." you leave a long kiss on his mouth. the marlboro mingling with the strawberry flavor. you complain when he broke the kiss.

"did you know that i made you angry just so you would call me that?” he confesses. you deny, laughing.

donghyuck kisses your smile.

"now you know."

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

hii I just discovered your work and I absolutely love it <3

i was wondering if you could do creeps with a s/o that likes picking at their skin as a nervous/bad habit

Ty <3 I also struggle with dermatillomania and I found this very comforting to write

Thank you so much for requesting!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Creeps with an s/o who picks their hands...

Jeff the Killer

Yeah, so does he

It's mostly around his face, on his gums and at his scabs

The boy has such horrible teeth because of this </3

When he sees you do it though, he'll cringe and gently take away your hands from your skin

"Ewwww that's so nasty I don't want your skin flakes on my bed bro"

He means it lovingly I swear

Whenever he catches you picking at it, he tries to stop you

It's a bad habit of his he wished he never picked up so he's gonna do everything in his power to make sure you also don't fall too deep down the rabbit hole

Sometimes he'll let you though

Like the little pieces of dry skin you get around your fingers that stick up slightly

You just have to get those, it's basically law!

Other than that, expect him to slap your hand away from wherever you're picking at

Sometimes he'll wrap your hands up in bandages while you're sleeping

Or duct tape mittens onto your hands

Hard to pick when you don't got fingers

And quite frankly, it just makes his skin crawl knowing that all that skin you pick off has to go somewhere

And he doesn't want it to be anywhere near him

If he can't get you to stop by hitting your hand away, he'll try other means of distracting you

Kissing up your neck and eventually finding your lips, hoping to make you focus on him instead

He might take your hand and put it on his head as well

It's a win-win, really he gets his head rubbed and you aren't picking!

Ticci Toby

Despite having worn gloves for most of his time as a worker of Slenderman's, picking at his hands are still a bad habit of his

And so he's almost always got something around his hands so he won't be tempted

Once he notices you also have that bad habit, he tries to help in ways that helped him

He'll give you a pair of gloves to wear, He'll try making noises to try and get you to stop (kind of like shushing a dog)

And sometimes he'll tell you some silly stories from his past

Like how his mom used to dip his hands in vinegar to stop him from chewing on them

Or paint the tips of his fingers in black nail polish

She even got him special gloves that only covered the tips of his fingers to try and get him to stop

Needless to say, these methods didn't really work

But he has fun looking back on the memories

And in turn, you tell him any stories you may have

Sometimes he'll kiss your scars or wounds you have from picking your skin

He loves you and he wants you to know that

You even got one of those little white boards for each other

"Days gone without picking" it says

You've promised each other that when you reach a certain number of days you'll buy each other gifts or snacks

You've made a competition out of it at this point

[tiredistic]

Sulky Janis and her two (or one if you prefer) girlfriend(s) comforting her?? I think it'd be a cute fic but feel free to ignore this!

"Just hold me close"

Pairing: Regina x Cady x Janis

TW: Heavy Homophobia, Bullies, F slur, mentions of toxic relationships, Really shitty girls, language (lemme know if I missed any)

Summary: Janis has some classes to go to where she gets picked on. That plus the lousy day she ends up having makes her yearn for comfort from her two girlfriends.

A/n: Yes I agree this is such a cute request! I enjoyed writing it ty for the askk!! <3

Today had to be the worst day ever. It was muggy and foggy and it had been raining on and off all day.

Regina and Cady were at the house since they didn't have any classes, but Janis was on campus because she had 3 classes. Three long.. boring.. aggravating classes without her girlfriends.

It would have been such a good day, for instance, in her painting class they were to have a live model. She was looking forward to it all week.

She was so excited to finally be going but the light left her eyes as she saw three girls walk into the art building.

Chloe, Kayla, and Ava, three girls who definitely paid their way into the advanced art classes just to be with the artistic hot guys.

Chloe, a brunette with a grown out bob and a black eye every other day from various toxic relationships. Kayla had black short bangs to match her long silky hair, however her bangs were scary short and not in a cute way. Meanwhile Ava was the tallest, she had the horrible side part.

They hated Janis. They hated what she had, what she was capable of- Especially that she was a lesbian who was in a poly relationship.

Everything they did was to sabotage or poke at Janis.

They copied everything she did (horribly might I add), they even tried passing up her art as their own, to which they failed (miserably might I add).

So when Janis walked into the room, it was hard not to show her disappointment.

Sliding into her seat across the room, she tried to minimize any eye contact with them as possible, but they definitely noticed her.

With a sly grin Ava stood up, her height already surpassing all the boys, Chloe and Kayla following her.

their gum chewing got louder and louder as they got closer. their cheap small tops rubbing uncomfortably against their arms. Their jeans were pulled up so high it just had to be suffocating.

Janis tried to ignore them as she set up her supplies for the painting lesson today, but they loomed over her waiting for any bit of recognition, which she folded to buy giving them a slight look.

"Guys look!" Ava laughed with a unnatural high voice, her gum threatening to fly out her mouth, "It's the two-time art freak!"

"Bitch can't even chose one partner." Ava chimed in.

They all synchronized in fake laughter, a high pitch that made everyone's ears bleed. Much like seagulls if you ask me.

"Art freak and a lesbian? Pick your poison gosh!" Kayla laughed slyly.

"Hey Josh! Joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, isn't she pathetic~~" Chloe sticked her non-existent ass in the air as if it was going to attract Josh.

"sure." Josh replied, he was so obviously gay Janis just had to sigh.

The period started, and everyone was instructed to come to the front of the class to grab supplies for their project.

Janis got up making her way up to the front when they cut infront of her, making her stumble slightly.

"Watch where you're going fag, your going to step on my shoes" Kayla rolled her eyes, eyeing down Janis's attire.

Janis was wearing Cady's flannel shirt and Regina's sweats, covered by her own hoodie that she made.

She got nervous, she was just trying to be comfortable, and she genuinely thought it was a good outfit. She was carrying her girlfriends where she went while she was away, it meant something to her.

They stood directly in front of her in line as they shit talked her.

She tried to tune them out as best as she could, occasionally insults like "whore," "girl pig," found its way to her ears.

She wanted to say something, she wanted to cuss them out but she decided to just try and calm down by fidgeting with a toy she brought in her pocket.

"You know I heard her girlfriends date her out of pity, since she made such a huge deal!"

"Gosh I dunno why such pretty girls would date down, they could bag anyone they want yet they chose a ugly hoe."

"i'm surprised such pretty girls are lesbos." Chloe sighed, "wasting their lives, such pretty children they could have had,.."

Janis exhaled heavily just 30 more minutes of this she had to remind herself.

"They're pretty yeah but they're so messed up. Like the blonde one, she's kinda big.. I heard her back is fucked up too." Ava gossiped.

"So I heard, the redhead is a egotistical nerd no?"

"You guys have no idea what your talking about."

"sorry what was that?" they tied their conversation to turn to Janis.

One thing Janis wasn't about to do was stand there as they spread rumors about her girlfriends.

"My girlfriends aren't messed up, they're perfectly fine and I love them for who they are!"

They stayed silent for a second before breaking into a fit of laughter.

"Oh my gosh what in the- that was soooo corny"

Their laughs synchronized again, making everyone in the room cover their ears.

"Don't talk to us again do you hear me? fucking slut." They strolled out of line after grabbing what they needed.

Janis was trying her hardest to not let it get to her, but her mind pondered on their words. How they just took it lightly, it made her blood boil.

The whole time the model came all that she could think about was how other people saw her relationship, the art freak, the egotistical nerd and 'the big girl with the messed up back.'

It hurt.

The day passed faster than ever, she was now in her last class before heading home and everything was looking up for her. She was trying to take her mind off of the events from earlier with her pottery class.

She was making a pot for Cady. It was so she could cook her signature Mac-n-cheese. It was exceptionally huge, as requested from Regina, (she loved the mac).

Janis made it in a special way, making sure to include the handles where Cady could rest the spoon on the side without too much trouble.

She was listening to her favorite band as she worked, the clay sliding through her hands effortlessly, adding to her amazing work.

She was so enamored by her music that she didn't notice Quill standing next to her.

He was a nobody. Literally, he had no special talent and he claimed to play football on some random international team. The only good thing about him was his toned arms and height, his personality was ass.

He was convinced that Janis liked him and was just playing hard to get. Even though Janis had been saying to him that she's a lesbian, he still persisted. Even though Janis said she was in a relationship with amazing girlfriends, he said it's okay because they could be his girlfriends too.

Quill pissed Janis off to say the least, and she definitely didn't need his bullshit today.

Quill pulled Janis's wired earphones out from her ears, already ticking her off.

"hey Janice! whuch' you doin?" His voice was already annoying her, he purposely tried to make his voice way deeper than it was which just made it sound unnatural. He also butchered her name (horribly might I add).

"Janis. It's Janis. I'm working on my project, or was before you interrupted me." She sighed moving her earphones from the piece as carefully as possible.

"Well I was wondering if I could take you to homecoming-"

"For the upteenth time, NO!" Janis sighed angrily, "I'm already going with my beautiful girlfriends!"

"can't they go together?"

"No they can't now fuck off."

"Whatever, your not as pretty anyway, I might just ask them." he threw his hand up, clumsily knocking Janis's project to the floor.

"fuck!" She hissed trying to catch it, but it slipped though her hands, falling to the floor with a splat.

"awh shitt, my bad my bad." He mumbled before walking away.

Janis started to freak out her breathing increased.

Her pot was on the floor. Cady's pot was on the floor. Couldn't she do anything right? It wasn't her fault it was Quills, but it still felt like she should have saved it. The promises she made about the pot all gone in a instance. Maybe her girlfriends were dating down, how could they love a clumsy girl like her?

Her mind spiraled as she quickly tried to do her calming exercises.

After a minute the sound of rain mixed with her figure taps really helped her calm down. She decided to take a much more calm, and safe approach.

Her hands ran through her hair as she thought of ways to fix it. It fell in such a way that if she picked it up with precision and caution she could possibly save what's left, making major changes to the sides and revising the handles.

She was finally at peace with her plan before a strike of lightning and thunder broke her out of it, making her jump, slipping on her two feet landing directly in her mushy pot.

Given, she didn't fall on her ass, her hands braced her fall. ..You wanna know what else braced her fall? It was the pot.

All she wanted to do was scream, but she didn't, she was in a more than public setting and everyone definitely saw her fall. All she could do was clean up and leave. Since it wasn't quite the end of the school day, she had to take the public transportation rather than the schools private property.

She waited for the bus, her backpack getting wet- everything getting wet. She just wanted to be home in her girlfriends arms.

After what seemed like forever, the bus came and it was jam packed. Janis made it on, squeezing into a corner by what seemed to be a sweet old man.

He smiled at Janis but it quickly faded as he noticed the pins on her bag.

One was the lesbian flag and the other was the polygamous flag. Accompanied by various other pins, the rainbow pride flag stuck out to the man the most (he didn't recognize the specific flags she had)

"Your one of them.. queer folk." He mused, his breath lingering in the air.

"what.."

"all that queer shit- its- its not natural. You just didn't find the right man!" Janis could tell his bones were just itching to say that.

Janis just sighed, his voice was low and grainy enough to tune him out for the rest of the ride, but the fact he had the nerve to say something like that to her was astonishing, even in the year 2024.

Just 2 more minutes she had to remind herself.

When it was time for her stop, she got off with speed not trying to listen to that man a second longer. She walked up the block to where they were staying, the rain picking up with every step.

Janis slugged though the door throwing her backpack wherever as she passed by Cady and Regina without a word. She went to go change out of her outfit which was stained in a mix of paint, clay, and rain.

They gave each other confused glances before deciding to wait on Janis's timing to come and talk to them. They waited for approximately 30 minutes before Janis came in covered in their clothes.

She was drowned in Regina's fluffy pajama pants and snuggled up by Cady's Mathleet sweater. She had put her hair into a hair clip, her freshly washed face was slightly layered with water.

Wordlessly she sat in the middle of them, implying she wanted some loving which they complied to without hesitation.

Regina played with Janis's hair as Cady held her as close as she allowed.

"Do you wanna talk about what happened baby?" Cady softly said she could see the tears threatening to form in Janis's eyes already.

Janis just borrowed her face further into the sweater, "no" she mumbled from our the pillows, not quite ready to come out with a explanation.

Cady glanced at Regina and they knew what to do next. Regina got up getting Janis's favorite things, first her favorite blanket, her favorite plush, and her favorite fidget too.

"Look Janis.." Regina smiled and chuckled wearily trying to coax the girl to look at her.

Janis finally turned from the pillows smiling once she saw what Regina was hauling.

They all stayed silent for a few minutes before Janis spoke up.

"everything was so annoying today.." They sat back and listened to Janis's explanation. waiting patiently for her to continue.

"These.. stupid girls, theyre so mean. They made fun of me." her breath hitching, "They made fun of my outfit, i dont think I'll ever wear it again."

"Those bitches, I bet they wouldn't know good fashion even if Alex Consani was standing right Infront of them." Regina mumbles.

"Awh baby.. don't listen to them. They obviously have zero sense of style," Cady kissed janiss forehead softly, "We loved your outfit its like you took us to school with you."

Janis smiled at their comments but it quickly faded when she remembered what else those girls did.

"Then they went on to say how we were a weird couple"

"What do they care about our relationship?" Regina asked genuinely confused.

"They're all up in my business." Janis closed her eyes trying not to get mad, "they called us things I will not dare to repeat."

Janis took a breather irritation creeping up her neck. "I really hate them." She looked at her hands, "every time I try to enjoy myself in that class they always fuck it up."

"Oh baby.." Cady coo'd pulling Janis deeper in her arms, "I'm so sorry, I wish I was there with you."

"What were their names?" Regina asked trying to sound as calm as possible.

"Chloe Borrow, Kayla Everson, and Ava Seamack"

"They're nobodies, and you shouldn't take their words to heart alright baby?"

Janis nodded she played with the figet as she calmed down.

She felt better that she got that out, everything in her brain felt clearer.

"It just was a really shitty day." Janis mumbled.

"What can we do to make it better baby?"

"can we just.. cuddle for a while?"

"Of course we can."

Regina and Cady snuggled up real close against Janis, holding her as if she was going to disappear. They hugged her as if she was a precious doll that needed hours of care to manufacture.

Janis fell asleep not too long after, the rest of the horrible events fading away, problems for another day.

"We love you Janis" Regina whispered, planting a kiss on her forehead.

-

Later, when Cady and Janis were off to bed, Regina went off to the porch. She called the school managers, since her father was practically funding the art programs she had a really big say in what happened down there.

She was completely pissed off on how three students who have been banned from the main building and were bullies were allowed in such an establishment as such.

Her tone was hot as she blew up their phone, threatening to no longer fund them if those girls weren't thrown out.

Regina smiled to herself. If those girls were going to fuck with Janis they were going to fuck with her too, and that's one thing you wouldn't want to do.

[thorn-rosed]

HEADCANONS:

~ Evan has heterochromia or is blind in one eye.

~ Pandora seems innocent and childlike but in her greenhouse and the place where she experiments with spells, she keeps things that cannot be found even on a Knockturn.

~ I read somewhere that Evan has a collection of haunted dolls in his room. One doll loves Evan but hates Barty, so she throws random objects at him. Unfortunately I don't remember the name of the blog, but I love it.

~ Barty was that kid to moan in the middle of class and act like its the funniest thing ever (It's me)

all of these are so amazing tbh

1: I never really thought about the heterochromia thing, but the other day i had some thoughts about blind Evan! I imagine he went blind due to an accident, maybe got chemicals in his eyes or something, and can't let the seen world go. His solution is to feel everything, experiment with everything, trying desperately to see with his ears, nose and touch. Hell, he even tries to restore his eyesight with various experiments on people that lost their eyesight the same way he did.

2: Pandora seems like the sweetest human-being on this planet to anyone who doesnt know her, but she's just as twisted and cruel as her brother. Honestly, if she wanted she'd probably be more dangerous than him, due to the amount of unregistered spells she has up her sleeve. Regardless of how dangerous her experiments were, Peter would always keep his slightly illegal plants in her greenhouse, simply because everyone knows well enough not to go inside there.

3: oh my, this one is a tasty one. I imagine it made Barty feral, he tried to destroy it several times, but each time it just repairs itself and hangs above Barty's head in the middle of the night, so when he wakes up, his heart will occasionally stop. Evan tried to lock her up, but girly is too powerful and somehow escapes each time. On top of that, visitors of their house would be creeped out by the random dolls standing around everywhere, and it always looked as if they're following them by turning their heads around. If the visitors asked Evan about it, he'll simply tell them they're hallucinating. They also make for great home protection, there's no thief trying to enter their house without permission, he knows he'll only get eaten by some ancient spirits.

4: Barty is such a typical straight guy in general. In modern times he would have loved all the opportunities. There's always at least one vape in his pockets, which might or might not get used during lessons. He also engraves random shit into the school tables and puts his chewing gum underneath them. He also is so sleeping with the teacher for better grades. (I need to make a teacher x student flowerrosekiller au)

[weird-an]

Mrs. Richardson is one of these teachers that stare at Billy with a thoughtful look and ask him to stay after class to talk about his potential.

Billy brings home straight As, because failure gets punished with a belt and a tirade of insults Billy sometimes dreams about. Mrs. Richardson already sees him at an Ivy League school, ignoring how he owns like four shirts and fixed her husband's car at the garage just last week.

"What do you wanna do when you're 30?" She asks him. "If you could do anything with your life?"

Billy blinks. He doesn't think, he'll make it to 30. But he can't tell her that or she'll dig deeper and who knows what sad excuse of a town Neil finds - that might be worse than Hawkins.

"An apartment and a job that pays enough." is what he settles for.

She frowns at him. "What kind of job?"

"Whatever." Billy shrugs and he knows he should make up a stupid lie about how he's interested in tech or whatever shit, but he can't. He turns fucking 18 tomorrow and he won't get out of here, because Neil takes his paycheck whenever Billy gets it.

"I like working at the garage," he offers carefully.

She sighs. "I think you could go to college."

She hands him a bunch of flyers Billy throw away at home and starts a whole monologue about scholarships for kids that aren't well off. Billy chews on his bubble gum and pretends to listen while wondering if he should hide his next paycheck in a can of pringles.

After a few minutes, he's dismissed with a "Think about it! You're a really good student."

Harrington leans against the lockers, obviously waiting for him and stares at him with his big brown eyes reminding Billy of toffee. Billy isn't in the mood to fool around today. But he's kinda scared that Harrington will lose interest as soon as a busty girl hits on him, so he can't really afford to leave it be. Billy gives him a tiny nod. Their ... well, not so secret sign, but no one is around to see it anyways.

They drive to the quarry separately, like they always do when Harrington's parents are at home and they have to swap his waterbed against the backseat of their cars.

Billy is faster. Because Harrington is a pussy and sticks to the speed limit. Billy's halfway through his cigarette when Harrington slides on the passenger's seat next to him.

"What did Mrs. Richardson want from you?" He sounds genuinely interested. Harrington is good in getting what he wants. Tells Billy he's hot and good in bed to keep him in mood. Gives compliments without sounding dishonest. Billy eats it all up. Sweetener that tastes like sugar.

"She asked me what I wanna do when I'm 30." Billy watches the faint orange glint of his dying cigarette.

"And what do you want?" Harrington's gaze presses Billy a bit harder down in his seat.

Billy opens his mouth to tell Harrington the same stuff he told her, but instead he hears himself say "To not be dead and maybe even fucking happy."

Well. There goes the chance of getting fucked until he forgets about birthdays of any kind.

Harrington's hand is a bit cold against his own. His thumb presses against Billy's wrist.

"I'll never get out of here," Billy chokes out and the ash from his cig falls on his jeans. "He's... he's going to fucking kill me."

It's so overwhelming. It's like the end is already written and no matter what book Billy grabs, it's always the same shit on the pages.

One day Neil will get too drunk and Billy will die. One day Neil will get his gun and Billy will die. One day Neil won't do anything and Billy will die.

Billy doesn't want to die. He wants to fucking live and he can't. Not here in fucking Indiana.

"I'm moving out," Harrington says slowly. "Next month."

Billy blinks the tears away and wonders what the fuck Harrington is talking about.

"There's only one bed...," Harrington's voice is unsure, like he's afraid of... Billy's answer? "You would be welcome any time."

Billy stares at Steve and sees the same tears Billy tries not to cry in his eyes. What the fuck is Harrington on about?

"I want you to be fucking happy, too." Steve rubs his nose. "I... could get a second key."

"What about ... if you're like... hanging out with a chick?" Billy asks, surprised that he only sounds half as strangled as he feels.

Steve laughs wetly. "You're the only one I'm seeing."

Billy flicks the cigarette out of the window. He's only doing what all his instincts tell him to do. He cups Steve's face and his heart beats way too fast.

"Don't fucking lie to me, Harrington." He wouldn't survive that. To be offered a… way out and its all turning out to be a joke.

"It's Steve," Steve corrects and buries his hand in Billy's hair.

He isn't sure who is kissing who first, but they are kissing and crying and sobbing all at once.

"So will you come over?" Steve asks, a bit breathless.

"Until you kick me out," Billy says.

Maybe Billy will turn 30. Maybe he's got a real chance - a chance that walked into his life dressed like a preppy asshole, but Billy never had a good taste in men.

@harringroveweek

[darkkitty1208]

on fic writing and fandom: where am i going forward?

So. It's a bloody dull Friday and I'm writing this post--have been meaning to, for a while--because I can't stop thinking about it. It's just a few (a lot, actually) thoughts I've had in my mind the past few days that I've decided to spill into a single post, which turned out far longer than it needed to be, but nothing too important. Under the cut.

I've been a fanfic writer for a while now. Not a long time by any means, but a while nonetheless. My first fic--which is now orphaned like a few of its brothers for undisclosed reasons, though if you're an og you might be able to guess why--was dated back to the 18th of November 2021. 3 years later and I've got a humble 89 works and counting (the orphaned works and unposted wips unincluded). I can safely say I've improved quite a lot since then.

Where are you going with this, then, Kitty? Surely you aren't here just to brag about your writing progress?

Well. Not exactly. But I'll start with this: I guess what I'm trying to say is I've lost the spark.

You know. The old feeling. That boost of serotonin you get after you finish a piece you're proud of, or when you get lovely reviews on ao3, or when you get a kudos email, or a new mutual, or some wild tags under your silly post. The spark. I haven't felt it in a long time, now. The last time it's been so palpable was... I'm not sure. Probably last year's October. That was a lot of fun. I was most prolific in fic writing, that year. It shouldn't feel like a long time ago. Because it wasn't.

Don't get me wrong. I love all this. All that's going on right now. The comments I'm getting--even if fewer than I had before--and all the other interactions, I appreciate and enjoy and love them so, so much. And writing my newer fic projects are well exciting. But it just isn't the same anymore. I'm afraid it never will be.

(Maybe it has something to do with the lack of interactions lately. Maybe? I don't really know, either. I'm sure we're all well aware the fandom is past its peak, and with the current developments in the MCU I am frankly unsurprised, but I dunno.)

I guess that's part of the reason I've been less active lately. I've been inactive as a whole this year, admittedly, and disappearing far too often for far too long (and I notice some of my friends are, too). I just didn't get the same joy from being in a fandom like I had when I first started this blog, or my ao3 account.

In hindsight, I've probably been a little too dependent on fandom to provide me serotonin. The past few years have been hard, the years before that, too. Life just keeps kicking me in the arse time and time again. I guess I've been using fandom and fic writing as a coping mechanism, and once I've had my fill, the joy dies off to something a little more dull. Like a gum I've been chewing for too long that the sweetness has since worn off.

Honestly? I don't want it to be this way. I want to live without being so dependent on my presence online. I want to live without only knowing joy through internet interactions. I've got to learn to. It sounds silly, but it's true. (I think I may be slightly chronically online, oh no. x'D)

So naturally my first instinct is to distance myself a little. I contemplated quitting, but I can't do that. I don't see myself ever doing that, no matter how many times my brain convinces me that I might.

When this year started, I had set some goals for writing. One of them was to write for more whumptober prompts than I did last year or complete them all. I did like 21 prompts or something last year. Of 31. Within a little more than a month. While still balancing all the life stuff I had going on. This is, if not obvious, an extremely ambitious goal. I am not insane. I don't know what I was thinking. I can't possibly do that now, can I? Not with all the stuff that's been happening.

...

Can I?

...

Yeah, no. Definitely not.

See, that's another thing: writing. Probably the thing I'm trying to get at in this post but otherwise derailed completely from. Fuck my brain.

I'm sure many of you have noticed that I've been writing significantly less. I still post, obviously, but not as much as like, last year when the number of works I had went from a few to far too much. That had helped me improve quite a lot, actually, but those days I barely slept because I just insisted to replace my sleep time with Writing Shit For The Gays. It was pretty unhealthy now that I look back at it. My sleep schedule is still shit now but, yk. Some things just never change.

I was really, really caught up on wanting to be good at writing. Like, really good. I wanted to make awesome things. I wanted to write like a real fucking pro. Like all the more popular fandom authors I look up to. I want to be like the big dogs in fandom. It sounds so silly. I did everything; sprinting daily, setting a minimum of 500 words writing sessions every day, trying new writing styles, churning out works after works, writing for prompts and events and gifts and the like. I was enjoying it, yes, but was it really something I did for myself? Or was it because I wanted to please other people or impress other people for their validation, which is something I'm entirely too dependent of? Was it for the numbers?

Well. It was more for that than for me, I realised a little too late.

So yeah. Fuck wanting to be good. I want to write for the hell of it. I want to write something that's for me. Not what the majority of the fandom or other people want to read, but for me. Which is why I absolutely loved writing works like just a matter of time, how to kill a god, or how to become a god, because they're not meant for other people but myself. (Ironically that last work is a gift but, yk. I still liked it.) I know I joke about self-projecting a lot, but it's been seriously helping me rediscover the joy of writing that doesn't come from the incessant need to be good or perfect or focus on producing more and more and more. It makes me feel like a kid again. Also, I'm only realising this now but I'd rather get like 5 people who enjoy reading my works so much and express them to me rather than 100 people who silently thumbs up at me and then go away to consume another fic or demand more. (All this to say I still love interactions, it just shouldn't be my no. 1 priority to get them when writing fanfics.)

But yeah. None of those works are perfect. They're not meant to be. But they're mine. They're me. They represent me. And it's so, so great to feel that in writing. I've been so stuck up on being some sort of content machine. I'm doing this for myself, how could I forget? I've been saying this since the beginning, I don't know why I'm still struggling to do it. God. It's ridiculous.

Anyway. That's that. This has become a very long ramble. Thank you for listening to my Ted Talk. And for letting me waste your time, if you make it to the end of this post.

[yukikogazingthestars]

Heyyy so could I request Mori x fem reader who is Hirotsu's granddaughter? Port mafia had a meeting and Hirotsu told reader to wait Infront of port mafia building she was waiting and smoking and listening to music when Elise came and took her to meeting and reader has crush on mori for some time and everyone were shocked that Hirotsu has a granddaughter but the thing is thathe found her on his doorstep one day

Ability:Siren voice, she can control people by singing

If you are comfortable make her 20s if you not make her age you want

Thanks

Well, I terribly took a long time to finish it. But, if you're happy to read it, please do leave a comment. If you don't feel comfortable, anon in ask-box will be fine too❤️

Hirotsu never knew he had a granddaughter until he found that someone abandoned a child in front of his door with a letter claiming that that little child was his granddaughter. He was puzzled. How could he be a grandfather when he was just only 25 years old? Again, he never did that with someone, well at least not someone with blonde hair. That child had blue ocean eyes, blonde hair and cute dimples that proved that she wasn't his descendant.

He knew that that's absurd and a scam but he still wasn't heartless enough to send this child to an orphanage because he knew how an orphanage could be so fucked up in those time. Again,he couldn't leave the child alone in this darkness. So, he decided to be a guardian for the child. Of course,he also kept a secret from the organization since Port Mafia at that time was so fucked up and so cruel .He worried that the crazy boss would do something terrible to the child or he would use her as a hostage to keep him loyal.

Years later, it was finally Mori's reign.But, Hirotsu decided to keep the secret with him all his life as he was used to it. Y/N gradually grew up into a fine and intelligent lady and like Hirotsu, she had an obsession with cigarettes .

Hirotsu always told her not to smoke too much but Y/N never listened. Hirotsu didn't want Y\N to join the Port Mafia since he believed that Y/N deserved to be in the light while he was in the dark protecting her. They may not be blood related but their bond is like a real father and daughter.

"Like I said, you can't go " Hirotsu frowned his eyes when he heard Y/N's request.

"If you have so much time, why don't you go shopping with your friends? Moreover, they don't even know I have a tantrum throwing brat" He smoked out the Cigarettes while he watched Y/N rolling herself on the floor yelling that she wanted to meet Mori.

"I said that won't be happen"

"Hirotsu San! You meanie!"

Although Hirotsu kept refusing her request, he knew he had to take her to the HQ today because of the incident of disappearing Port Mafia's building because of the Guild. He sighed,killed the cigarettes and got up .

"I will leave the house in 15 minutes so you better hurry"

"You mean I can come with you? Right!? Right!?"

"If you agree not to disturb our job"

Y/N happily got up and jumped into Hirotsu causing him a little backache.

"Please piggy back to HQ!!"

"What do you think you are? An elementary school kid? Get off. Again,they don't know you're my granddaughter.Moreover.. "

"They don't even know you have one ."Y/N giggled and got off from Hirotsu. She picked up the bag which contained a book, cigarette case and some chewing gum.

"Just tell them I'm your daughter.That's more relevant la."

"Thanks to someone,I got a grandchild without having a daughter or son"

That's their daily conversation. Although Hirotsu wanted to keep the adoption a secret, Y/N found out that when she was just a kid since their appearances were too different . But, she didn't feel any remorse or anything as she accepted Hirotsu as her father and she was gladly grateful that he decided to adopt her.

The only problem was that she took a crush on his boss, Mori Ougai and that's the reason that she kept being a brat throwing tantrums to visit the Port Mafia. Hirotsu never allowed in the past but thanks to Guild being ridiculous, she had a golden chance to visit there.

But, to her disappointment, Hirotsu clearly told the guards to watch her . He clearly reminded them not to let her go near the meeting room. He even told her just to sit quietly in the reception. Y/N pouted but she had to agree.

Y/N just sat on the couch scrolling her phone and smoking until a little girl bumped into her. The young, short girl with pale skin and bright blue eyes. She has long, blonde hair, styled with straight, blunt bangs across her forehead and long, thick ringlets that curled past her waist. She wears a large red bow on the right side of her head.

Y/N whistled softly and rubbed her belly after putting that girl away from her. She killed the cigarettes and waved her hands in order to make the smoke disappear.

"That hurts! Kid, you should spare me since I am in my 20 and I started to be old"

"You are not fun.By the way, I'm Elise"

Y/N giggled and patted Elise's head.

"Hello Elise, I'm Y/N"

She had no idea who that girl was but she decided to play along since she was too bored in scrolling and watching Instagram Reels.

" I'm bored"

"Me too"

"How about doing some fun? How about annoying Rintarō ?"

"Who is Rintarō?"

"Annoying man"

“Awww"

Their conversation was really something. Y/N didn't know what Elise was talking and again Elise didn't know what Y/N was talking.

"I can sing" said Y/N while she was chewing a gun. Elise looked at her and she made a large big smile.

"Sing for me!"

"Okay, any special request?"

"I don't have one. Just sing and I'll listen"

"Okay"

Y/N stood up and cleared her throat. She was thinking hard about what song she should sing.

"Ah! How about we go upstairs? We have an empty place where we can use" said Elise.She grabbed Y/N's hand and dragged her to the upstairs.

Y/N couldn't refuse. To her surprise,no one stopped them going upstairs. So, she realized that Elise was somehow associated with high ranking members of the Port Mafia.

"How about here? It's better than Reception right?"

It was a corridor. But, to be exact,a long corridor with stained glass window, huge pillars. As expected for the Port Mafia, even the corridor was so grand.

Y/N put on her airpod, selected a song.

"I will sing Enchanted by Taylor Swift"

She told herself just to put on the mood. Elise was smiling and put her hands on her cheeks . She sat on a chair which she dragged from nowhere.

The meeting was still ongoing. Hirotsu was reporting the news about the Guild and everyone including Mori himself was paying so much attention. The atmosphere inside was really intense since the Guild had their first move .

Mori massaged his elbows softly and sighed. They were so stressed out about the case .

Until they heard a voice.

“This is me praying that

This was the very first page

Not where the story line ends

My thoughts will echo your name, until I see you again

These are the words I held back, as I was leaving too soon

I was enchanted to meet you”

“Who is singing outside?”asked Mori curiously. He meant no harm or no anger in his voice, it's just the voice was so sweet and alluring that he wanted to know who was singing.

Poor Hirotsu, he was pale and sweat dropped on his forehead. He knew it was Y/N singing outside,using her ability to sing alluringly and sweetly to make her audience happy.

“It was…”

“You know who is singing, don't you?”

Kouyou was listening while she was smiling.Chuuya was frowning his eyes but he somehow enjoyed the song.Higuchi hummed the music without even knowing. Even Akutagawa didn't give negative feedback and the rest of the black lizard also enjoyed the song.

“It was..”

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

I was enchanted to meet you

Please don't be in love with someone else

Please don't have somebody waiting on you

It became silent again after the song. But, the happiness and the calming energy was still here and they wanted to meet who was the owner of that angelic voice.

“Hirotsu San, if you know who was singing, do bring her here”

“But, boss-”

Hirotsu couldn't finish his words since Elise bursted into the room grabbing Y/N .

“Ah ah, it hurts Elise chan”

“Rintarō, I made a new friend. She can sing! She has angelic voice”

Elise was shaking Y/N violently and jumping like a rabbit with excitement.Poor Y/N, she was so excited and shiver to see her crush here. But, she couldn't do anything since Elise was yanking her hands in and out. She helplessly looked at Hirotsu and as expected, Hirotsu was giving that look .Yes, he was clearly angry.

“Elise chan, please stop . You're hurting that poor girl” Mori cooed and he gently grabbed Elise towards him.

“Sorry, she’s just really happy to make a new friend “

“...it’s okay”

“Who are you,if I may ask?”

Y/N looked at Hirotsu with *asking for help* eyes. Hirotsu sighed and decided to step in.

“Boss, if I may answer, she is my granddaughter”

Kouyou put her hands to her mouth trying not to laugh. Chuuya couldn't close his mouth from surprise. Tachihara and Higuchi couldn't help but laugh till their stomach hurt since Hirotsu and that girl didn't resemble each other in any way.Again, how can a 50 years old man have a granddaughter of that age.Mori was a little surprised by his answer too.

“She was…she was adopted.That was a long story.”

Hirotsu explained the situation in short. Mori nodded softly while he was listening to the whole story.

“So, you hid your granddaughter from the organization for a long time”

“It was my personal life.So, I thought I shouldn't make a scene”

Mori didn't blame both of them. Instead he offered Y/N to live in Port Mafia for a time being until the Guild was solved.

Y/N was blushing from the idea of sharing the same roof with her Crush. She wanted to refuse but Mori said,”You won't make Elise cry,will you” and she finally agreed.

Hirotsu didn't like the idea,but it was the safest option so he had to agree. Even Poor protective Grandpa had the time to give up.

[thatonewatching]

My creepypasta/marble hornets head canons (SFW)

Hoodie/Brian

Black coffee No cologne Picks at his skin or taps his foot Likes big dogs but feeds the stray cats Scar going down his chest from a fight w/ Masky Good friends with E.J. Likes kids, and wishes he could have them Won't have kids because of his line of work Closed off Selective mutism Anger issues but relatively calm Insomniac Scary dog privilege Hates being a proxy Refuses to take his mask off around the others Keeps camera on him at all times Loves literature Very smart Limited interests Majored in literature Sarcastic Low self esteem Listens to punk rock Hopeless romantic Speaks another language (Russian probably) Mature but can be petty Fatherly Plays piano Is very skilled at playing piano Cannot cook to save his fucking life Can sew Wakes up so damn early Lanky bitch Has no taste in fashion or decor Apartment is practically empty Honest Chews a lot of gum

Masky Stubborn Chubby Hairy motherfucker Intimidating Pours milk before cereal Will now refuse cheesecake (y'all ruined it) Black coffee favorite food is grilled cheese and tomato soup Basic bitch Loves AC/DC Classic rock Aerosexual Good at math Petty Strongly opinionated Bad at reading Needs glasses but refuses to get them Anger issues Can't cook

Toby

Clingy Manipulative attachment issues Likes chocolate milk Pyro Diet consists of milk, energy drinks, and random chips and snacks he can find Underweight but scarily strong Doesn't like spicy food Drools Nightmares Sleep paralysis Panic attacks Loves rodents Hates waking up early but he does because of his job Restless Draws on himself Lots of self-inflicted marks (IYKWIM) Ambidextrous Pyro Thinks about Lyra a lot Bites his nails when no one's around because he has to pull his mask down Listens to Mindless Self Indulgence, My Chemical Romance,  Get Scared, Avril Lavigne, Theory of a dead man, Paramore, Sleeping with Sirens, Crown the Empire, Linkin Park, System of a Down, Panic! At the Disco, Melanie Martinez, Green Day, Black Veil Brides, Arctic Monkeys, McCafferty, Mother Mother, Fall Out Boy, Pierce the Veil, Falling in Reverse, Bring Me the Horizon, Three Days Grace, Korn, Slipknot, etc. (I had to) Hums to himself Dyslexic Likes abandoned areas Very fast when running Great aim Band T-shirts Taps foot Energy drinks

Eyeless Jack

Gentle giant Doesn't like being called "Eyeless Jack" Goes by E.J or Jack Loud breather in his mask, completely silent without Doesn't take his mask off unless he's alone Sweet Scared of himself Goes through heat Trust issues Good fashion but can't wear most clothes because of his size Has Brian sew/adjust/make him clothes for money or whatever Honest Has seen every single Disney movie Hums and sings along to the songs Fatherly Slender's second favorite Mature Scars Human food tastes bad to him Only drinks water Can and will pierce your body if you ask Misses icecream

Jeff

Energy drinks and soda cans all over his room Band T-shirts Emo Slender's favorite Plays with Ben (gaming) Sore loser Likes to burn things Caffeine addiction Stupid teenager shit 13 (in my hc) Ribs are visible Pierced body; nipples, ears, cartilage, nose Fights with everyone Dyes his hair regularly

Not Proofread

[alkeneater]

E!2080 factbook: I escaped. What's next?

Are you a clone who escaped from a sect-like organization? You have no documents or money? Are you scared and don't know where to go? This little guide will help you decide what to do with your life in this situation! 

(disclaimer: this guide has been made specifically for my AU, don't use it to solve real life problems lol 🙂)

The housing problem. There are not as many people living in the Exclamation as it seems. For example, the main five were lucky to find an abandoned house. Yes, it’s possible, but only the main characters are lucky with this (just because they are the main characters 🤪)! There is another option: hotels, inns. But only if you have money. We'll look at how to earn them later. There are no homeless shelters here, as the entire budget was spent on anti-homeless architecture… The most popular option: living on the street, without a roof over your head. Oh yeah, many clones just live on the street, and it's fun! There are so many garbage cans around, and you can build anything out of garbage! A great example of a happy homeless person is Ponce. It seems that there is already a big smelly palace of soda cans and chewed gum in his junkyard.

The food problem. You are completely alone in this strange city. What can you eat to live at least one more day? Look around you! In this land of capitalism there’s food at every turn: restaurants, cafes, snack stalls. Oh, you don't have any money.… Well, your salvation is in the garbage again! Don't want to eat spoiled food? Hmm... are you ready to work for it? For example, you can find vending machines on the streets that can give you a soda or a candy bar for watching a bunch of ads. You won't believe it, but time is a more valuable thing than money, so few people use the free alternative. 

The money problem. Yeah, it's a big problem, but it's solvable. You can find a job. You don't have the documents to get a job... but in the dark future, few people care. You will be hired, but you will be paid three times less. You will be doing the dirtiest work, most likely. But you will have an income! You don't like it? Then do some begging. Maybe you'll get lucky. Look for lost credit cards on the streets. Look for soda bottles with a code under the lid, sometimes these codes give bonuses like real currency! Hmm... if you are a very evil clone, then you can always start stealing and deceiving people >:) I forgot to add... If electronics are available to you, I advise you to start mining cryptocurrency, it is used everywhere here. 

The socialization problem. It's hard to find new friends in the Exclamation city, so it's highly recommended to stay close to the clones you know! Join groups and help each other. Be careful if a stranger offers you friendship. They may turn out to be a fraud! If you are lucky enough to stumble upon one of the clones, make sure that they’re not brainwashed. Otherwise, you will be dragged back to the shadow tower or even worse…

The treatment problem. Oh, does your finger hurt? Did you catch a cold? Blood poisoning? Lost a limb? Well... you will only stay alive if you have MONEY for treatment. And no, you can't put a chocolate wrapper on the wound. It's dangerous. And don't look at me like that. Okay, do as you want, but the responsibility is on you!

The hygiene problem. This is not a problem, because your toilet is a street, and your bath is ponds and fountains :) If you have solved the housing problem, then you are doubly lucky.

The safety problem. DON'T TRUST ANYONE! Thieves, drug dealers, hackers, killer clowns, cultists, as well as the shadow police (who are looking for you) are walking around! The best option is to lay low. Find a weapon AT ANY COST! You will have to defend yourself on your own, because the police are no longer fighting for the people… 

The transport problem. We have flying, ground and underground cars! We have electric bicycles, motorcycles, roller skates, and skateboards. You can navigate through the air bridges that can connect two or more skyscrapers to each other. If your weight is light enough... Try to grab hold of a passing drone!

The entertainment problem. And you call that a problem? There are parks, a beach, museums, cinemas, bars, street art… But everything costs MONEY! Bro, capitalism has won... you can only watch the billboard ads for free. 

Hope this guide helped you and your chance of survival is high enough!! >v<

[spinningspencer]

Spencer Reid with an oral fixation

Spencer Reid, who chews gum almost constantly

Spencer Reid, who always has snacks laying around his desk and hidden in his messenger bag

Spencer Reid, who keeps unconsciously licking his lips, driving you crazy

Spencer Reid, who will sometimes talk just because he likes the way certain words feel on his tongue

(NSFW under the cut)

Spencer Reid, who eats you out/gives you head like he's on death row and you're his last meal

Spencer Reid, who can't go more than a few days without tasting you, feeling you on his tongue

[alphasunpup]

Feedist Kinktober Day 26- Ice Cream Dream

A new ice cream place opens up right by your apartment

You want a little frozen treat and decide to pay it a visit

It's kinda like if someone turned an ice cream truck into a restaurant. There's Italian ice, soft serve, Popsicles, screwballs, etc.

You feel like a kid and decide to get a screwball

It's bigger than you remember. You get cherry and begin to take links thanking the person at the register

By the time you get back to your apartment. You're fishing out the gumball at the bottom, which is also bigger than you remember. You begin to chew on it and this time it doesn't lose it's flavor after 15 minutes

You start having dreams of the ice cream shop and eating orange creamsicles, strawberry shortcake, the Spiderman Popsicles.

You wake up, a little drool down your face and the gum still in your mouth. You're shocked it's still flavorful. You spit out the gum and brush your teeth. For some reason you can't help but go to the ice cream shop after getting ready for work.

They offer you their breakfast option including ice cream on top of a freshly glazed donut. You try it and decide you like it and get it with a milkshake.

Every day for the next month you have dreams about the ice cream place and every day without fail you go there.

You notice your boobs have gotten way bigger than you planned. Your once slight overhang now hangs lowers, creating a fupa. Your arms jiggle when you move. Your cheeks are all puffed out. You can't say you hate the look. Your ass is a little small but that's alright, you got enough cushion to be fine.

One night when you wake up from a dream you realize where you are. You're inside the store, digging through the mint chocolate chip and have a few firecrackers in your mouth already. The cashier at the front smiles at you, putting a collar around your thick neck.

"Looks like I just found a new dairy cow."

[parme-san]

👺 evilvillain123456789 Follow

alright listen, i need you to focus. i need you to go dig deep in your mind, this is important. we are going to perform an experiment of the sorts, i'm going to have to ask you to bear with me for a moment. now i need you to open your mind. your eyes, close em. you are now about to be placed under my hypnosis. for the next four and a half minutes, we are going to explore ito your mind to find out why you're so fucking jealous. now why did they make yoohoo. pippitycacapoopoo. sike, i'm kidding, i just wanted to see if you're still listening. okay, now i need your undivided attention. sir, i have a question: why do i always sense this undeniable tension? from the moment that i enter into the room it gets all quiet and whispers. whenever there's conversation, why am i always mentioned? i've been dying to ask, it's been itching at me, is it just because you're just jealous of me cause you you just can't do what i do so instead of just admitting it, you walk around and say all kinds of really mean things about me cause you're a meanie. A meanie. but it's only cause you're just really jealous of me cause i'm what you wanna be so you just look like an idiot when you say these mean things cause it's too easy to see you're really just a big weenie. big weenie. alright now I— shit. i just flubbed a line. i was going to say something extremely important but i forgot who or what it was. i fucked up. sike i'm kidding again you idiot no i didn't. that's just what you wanted to hear from me, is that i fucked up, ain't it? but i can bust one take without looking at no paper. it doesn't take a bunch of takes or me to stand here in this booth all day for me to say the truth, okay? you're drooling. you have tooth decay. your mouth is open. you're disgusting. what the fuck you eat for lunch? a bunch of sweets or something? what, you munch a bunch of crunch n munch? your tooth is rotten to the gum. your breath stinks, wanna chew some gum? "yes, i do, sir, what am i on?" you sir, are on truth serum. "marshall i'm so jealous of you, please say you won't tell nobody i'd be so embarrassed, im just absolutely terrified that someone's gonna find out why i'm saying all these terrible evil and awful mean things, it's my own insecurities" alright, now we we're going to conduct that experiment that we were talking about earlier. just to see what a frog looks like when it takes two hits of ecstasy. cause that's exactly what your eyes look like. wanna check to see? here's a mirror. notice the resemblance here? wait, let me put these sunglasses on. now look in this mirror. how bout now? what do you have in common? you're both green with envy and look like idiots with sunglasses on em. you look like i sound like posting about weenies. now take my weenie out of your mouth. this is between me and you: I know you're not happy. i know you'd much rather see me lying in the corner of a room somewhere crying curled up in a ball tweaked out of my mind dying. there's no denying that my weenie is much bigger than yours is. mine is like sticking a banana between two oranges. why are you even doing this to yourself? it's pointless. why do we have to keep on going through this? this is torturous. my point is this: that if you say mean things, your weenie will shrink. now i forgot what the chorus is, you're just a...you're just jealous of me cause you you just can't do what i do so instead of just admitting it you walk around and say all kinds of really mean things about me cause you're a meanie. a meanie. but it's only cause you're just really jealous of me cause I'm what you wanna be, so you just look like an idiot when you say these mean things cause it's too easy to see you're really just a big weenie. Big weenie. fuck off my dick.